below the belt

(December 2005)
"Do you love me?" She asked.
"Of course I love you. I am even
falling in love with you." I
answered her.
She was the most beautiful girl I had ever met, so far. Her brown
eyes were kind. Very kind to me.
Her hands were soft. Her smile
was perfect. Priceless. I knew at
this point, this was the woman I
wanted to marry. I was sure. To hell with those who say there is
no genuine love at first sight.
This is it! It was the first time
we had had a real date. All of
our other meetings and dates
had been online. Somehow, I had liked her. Meeting Maria was the
best thing that happened to me.
After all my ups and downs in
relationships with women who
wanted me for their own selfish
reasons, I finally had found my true love. Now I believe in love. I
do. I believe in love. It was time
to go. "Help me up" she said. (June 2005)
Part of my work as the doctor
in chief at the Grainview Hospital
in Zambia involved corresponding
with the other health
practitioners from my continent. Video conferencing was my only
way of convening meetings
without interrupting my very
busy schedule. One cold morning,
my boss calls me and tells me I
am needed to explain the rising costs of operations at the
hospital.
"What the hell?!" I shout at him.
( in my head, of course).
Why would the CEO want
answers so early in the morning? Nevertheless, I have to
give answers, real and imagined.
I am tired of life. This is the
third time in six months that
another relationship has hit the
rocks. Aaaargh! "Sir, the sudden hyper-inflation
in the country, compounded with
our recently launched open-door
policy of not turning away poor
patients, among several blind-
siding events have caused unprecedented proliferation in
the operating costs in the
hospital. Beyond..." "Wait, wait." he said. " What
difference is there between
your hospital and the rest of
our hospitals in Africa?"
"Are you giving the board a
reason or an excuse for the perfunctory levels of work and
reported apathy among your
sub-ordinates?"
" Dr. Onyango, you better get
your act together and produce
results, lest the board places you under probation with half
salary and no benefits."
I sighed at the 50 inch screen in
my hospital's board room. I had
to say something."Sir..."
"That said and done, let us hear the financial reports from the
accountant in charge, Grainview
Branch in Kenya, Miss Maria
please proceed." he interrupted.
"Yes Sir" I blurted. That was "where" I met Maria.
She looked beautiful. She was
smart too. And those eyes.
Those eyes! There is something
about those eyes...Onyango, look
at those eyes! Isn't she lovely? What is going on with me? Just
a day from a relationship and
here I am, lusting after some
lady's eyes. A lady who is far
away in Kenya! Onyango, she is
beyond your reach. Suck it up and look for ladies in your own
country of work. Maria's face
spoke and spoke...this video
conference thing was not such a
good idea after all. I should meet
that lady. I should. There is something about her. "Yes, Dr. Onyango,please respond
to Miss Maria's sentiments?" Oh
my goodness. I had drifted from
the meeting a while back.
"Ummmh...."I mumbled. I was in for
a fix here. What is the boss going to say about my short
attention span? "Sir, I need not
justify my shortcomings here." "I
am going to sort the mistakes
hitherto made and restore the
dwindling fortunes and fading glory of Grainview Zambia" I said,
sounding stupid. A few comments
here and a few warnings there
and the meeting was over. Well,
the meeting was officially over
but not for me. I had to call the Nairobi office. For obvious
reasons. "Is that Miss Maria?"
"Maria speaking."
"Dr. Onyango here. I was calling
to inquire of the specific
strategies you used to
improve..." I lied. I went on and on. Somehow, I digressed from
the improvement of the hospital
and talked about other issues.
That is how it all happened. She
indulged me in a personal Q&A
and yeah, the rest as they say, is sweet history. As lame as it
sounds, She, like me, had never
been lucky in relationships. For
some reason or the other. I
liked Maria just by talking to
her everyday...everyday for six months! We had known
everything one could possibly
know about someone online and
via the phone. I smiled to myself
as I boarded the afternoon time
flight to Nairobi, Kenya. Lusaka International Airport bye. Hello
Jomo Kenyatta International
Airport. I was thrillled. She had scheduled the date for
the same night at the Rusty
Nail. Apparently it was the most
romantic thing ever. I arrived at
The Rusty Nail. Dressed up. No
flowers, as per her request. Ten minutes before I saw her. Sitted
at a corner, all so beautiful. I
walked to the table. I was too
nervous even to speak. I sat
down without saying a word. A
big smile lit her face. "You ae beautiful!" I said. Time stood still.
Everything else was background
noise. I was here with Maria,
after six months of convincing
and being convinced. The food
was good. The wine was even better. But at that moment I
didn't care whether the food
was insipid or tasty. I didn't care
whether the drinks were shaken
or stirred. All I cared about was
"here and now". I was with Maria.
"Do you love me?" She asked.
"Of course I love you. I am even
falling in love with you." I
answered her.
It was that moment. That's the moment when you say nothing
and kiss, or so I thought. Before
I did it, she started to speak.
" "Help me up" she said. I left Nairobi the next morning.
And I left Maria a broken heart.
I left Maria a tortured soul. My
pride could not let me marry
her for she was paralysed below
the belt downwards. She could not walk. She could have kids,
our kids, but my pride wanted a
woman who could walk. I told
her so as we rode a taxi back
to her home. I helped her out of
the taxi as she cried silently. I didn't even enter her house.
That was the last I saw of
Maria. Gone with the wind. (June 2007)
"You may kiss the bride" the
pastor said. He didn't have to
say it twice. I was a happy man
now. After all the misfortunes of
my lovelife, here I was, marrying a beautiful woman. Stong willed,
well-off, smart and faithful and
a go-getter. What else could a
man ask for? I enjoyed the day.
Everything fell into place.
Everything. The ambience. The music. The food. The audience.
My in-laws. I was pleased. I
smiled to myself. Soon, and it was time to go
home and pack up for the
honeymoon. Zanzibar. The
beautiful sands, the sun-kissed
beaches. I was in for a treat. A
happy 1-day old marriage. A beautiful wife. A three story
house. We were running around
the house. Up and down the
stairs. Athletic foreplay. That
was when it happened. She fell.
Three stories down. Again, for the second time in my life, time
stood still. "She'll never walk again." The
doctors told me. "She's paralysed
waist downwards".
"I know!" I shouted.