african thoughts

Please do not throw the
“pervert” sobriquet my way just because I envy King Mswati
III. (After all, most people in the
world usually attend the Reed
Dance, only that they are under
the disguise of concerned
viewers trying to keep “abreast” with African politics.) What with an infinite number of
Swazi “beauties” showing up “shirtless” for him? And this will happen for every year until he
joins the other Mswatis! Before
death confines you to a “flat chest” and you are no more, make a point of skirting any
hindrances and attend the Reed
Dance. Don’ t quote me, if you “boob” and get yourself into hot “milk” with your spouse or parents for attending the Reed
Dance! Do it at your own risk.
Enough of the fantasy, let’ s get back to reality folks! Djimon Hounsou’ s ill joint, “Blood Diamond”, ranks as one of my favourite movies in the recent
past. Not as much so because of
the “moral message”, as to the rough and edgy “Africanness”, rugged emotion and violence in
it. The “Constant Gardner”, is also another critically acclaimed
movie that has been set in
Africa, Kenya to be exact, and
Kibera to be precise. Forest
Whittaker’ s “The Last King of Scotland” could have been an even bigger hit had it been
done by our very own Charles
Bukeko (Papa Shirandula),
maybe. When it comes to
knowledge on basic African facts,
the Westerners rely heavily on the media, and this is where all
the information and
misinformation is obtained. There
is already too much negativity
and unconfirmed innuendo
spread about the motherland, and attempting to de-
indoctrinate them is a tall order,
simply because some of them
look down upon us. So, folks, let
us see just how blessed we are. Life without music is death, or
something close to death. Like
having a heart attack? Or being
comatose? Yeah, something like
that. African music enriches the
soul and calms the mind; it cleanses the body in kind and
outdoes them all. If you think
some fusion of “Ifunanya” and “Sweet Love” is real African, think again. Real African music
sans the Western influence.
“Gallo-ed”, “Ulopa-ed” and “Ogopa-ed” tunes are (good) for gyration, but when you
want to showcase Africa, none
of those counts! If you love
Theo Blaise’ s “Belle Amiche ” and Sam Mangwana’ s “Fatimata”, then you have a hint. If you feel the tune of
Franco’ s “Mamou” and better still Papa Noel Nono’ s “Tangawizi”, then you are deep African. And when you internalize
Ringo Madlingozi’ s “Sondela” and Mafikizolo’ s “Emlanjeni”, then beyond doubt, you are so
Africanized beyond repair. And
that is a good thing! Oliver
Mtukudzi’ s “What Shall We Do?” is also quite African. And who can forget Ladysmith Black
Mambazo and their outstanding
displays of African voice
capabilities and dance? Awesome
stuff! (I still love Jua Cali’ s “Ruka”, Mr. Nice’ s “Kidalipo”, Sidney’ s “African Money” and the rest of the sweet and
contemporary African dance
tunes, so don’ t get me wrong. Only that I think my mentions
are a tad more African than the
modern African tunes, arguably
though. And I don’ t stand to be corrected!) Talk of humanitarian disasters,
we have seen them all. The
Rwanda Genocide of 1994,
Kenyan theft and stupidity in
2007 (we need a real Kenyan
Renaissance, honestly), Darfur and Somalia, the DRC among
others. Sierra Leone and Liberia
are also in this list of shame. All
because of bad leadership and
being cronies of some powers
Western powers that be. The Madagascarn (sic) DJ is yet to
deliver, so he also joins the list
of African politicians, who are
infamous, but I give him the
benefit of doubt. These are
disasters that are exclusively African. Of course we know
these wars all begin (and end) in
some fancy European, Asian and
American offices. They supply
militia and governments and we
fools keep fighting. Not even knowing what we are fighting
for! Isn’ t it funny that uranium mines in the Congo were found
open during a period when
neither the government nor the
rebels used the area? Someone
stole the uranium. Some mines
collapsed and killed the local “marionettes” in this illicit process. Talk of dying actively in
a radioactive mine! Painful? The
peacekeepers were never asked
what went wrong, for we all
know they are here to protect
and not to steal. Sad! And what of the Kenyan gold? What
happened to about a billion
dollars of public funds? The
worst was Sierra Leone where
the “outside-funded” militia cut people’ s hands in a bid to counter the government’ s efforts of telling the people that
“the future was in their hands”! How inhuman? Give or take, 70% of the
world’ s gold is in Africa, and 80% of the world’ s diamonds are also here in the Dark
Continent. Yet 40% of Africa’ s wealth is (stashed) in foreign
countries! With this kind of
“reverse” statistic, where are we headed to? Stupidly thinking,
should 40% of us migrate to
foreign countries, ostensibly to
follow our wealth? What with
the double-speak that the
“holier-than-thou” world leaders give when they criticize
our poor leadership yet at the
same time storing stolen
“Africana”? I think we should celebrate our heritage for a
while and forget all this poverty
and war that is shoved down
our throats by the (African) rich
westerners and easterners. If
we focus on the so many good things about Africa, we can
make some steps towards a
beautiful and more peaceful
continent. A year of civil war
leaves a country at least 2.5%
poorer, so you can imagine what kind of misery we fight for when
we expose our continent to
unnecessary wars and upheavals
for decades. A few years back, Africa was
the proverbial virgin land. That
was before the Western
“Civilization” pierced, pummeled and tore apart her virginity
(and purity). Adding insult to
injury, the same blind following
of Westernification has continued
to molest her economically! Now
Africa is almost barren! With all of her resources stolen and
transferred overseas for
“value-addition”, there is almost nothing left for her
children. But Mama Africa is yet
to hit “menopause”, she is still fertile. If we do “the right thing” (no pun intended) soon, we can make her viable again,
for one last time. It begins with
you and me. And that is the
fierce urgency of now! “There is a thin line between truth and fiction. This is that
line!”

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