Of Apple Butts , Jugs,Cups, Racks and OtherLady Utensils

Proponents of beauty pageants
argue that while some people
are easy on the eyes, others
are not. Still, some say that
beauty lies in the eyes of the
beholder. Nevertheless, the age-old
argument has not been without
its deserved share of
challengers. Pageantry in itself is as old as
to be found scripted in the Bible.
Yet Texas played a big role the
modern pageantry’ s development. Yes, there was once an
International Pageant of
Pulchritude at Galveston in the
Roaring Twenties which was
shortened due the impacts of
the Great Depression. In 1921, the Miss America contest as we
know it today, was born, and
with creation came a host of
problems. It may seem outrageous, but I
strongly believe that the advent
of pageantry, among other
factors, was the beginning of
the end of the family as a basic
commonwealth in society. It is common knowledge and
unavoidable really that people
look different. Ranking of
individuals based on artificial
standards of beauty does more
harm than good. The number of women who
spend hours on end trying to
get the look of Miss America,
Heidi Klum or Tyra Banks is not
small. This is because people
judge based on such standards, and so in a bid to survive the
competition, one resorts to
silicone and Botox, plastic and
metal. All in a vain attempt to
change nature. Back in the olden days, women
in England were judged on the
fairness of their hair, just as
Shakespeare spoke of the fair-
haired Portia in the Merchant of
Venice. Come 2009, the standards of beauty have
changed. If not being criticized
for small cups, then women are
on the receiving end for not
having apple butts. It is a creating a pitiable
situation in society. What sense
does it make to judge, and even
at times discriminate individuals
on parts of their physique that
they have no control over? I feel sorry when such things
happen, for I am of the mind
that all women would add the
extra cup size or apple to their
physique if they made the cups
or grew the apples. And men are fast joining the
fray. Obsession with packs and
what not is commonplace and
pre-set icons of masculinity are
sure killing society. While I am
not encouraging all the men to reduce that belly or avoid it
altogether, I am also asking the
ladies not to use this as a major
factor in determining their
potential life partners, or the
partner before the proverbial seven-year itch. True, physical
attraction is important, but the
belly you avoid might just be a
belly full of happiness, and the
pack might just be a divided
home. Personality and compatibility
over physique — that is the mantra that guided the
successful marriages I know of.
Even biblical stalwarts such as
David fell into the trap of
choosing beauty over
levelheadedness and compatibility. The results were nothing short
of damning: a dead child, a
widow and a distraught king. Sex symbols have caused the
high and mighty to stumble.
World Bank presidents, U.S.
presidents and even respectable
clergy have left befallen and
ashamed, all because of the vain pursuit of beauty. In his documentary Good Hair,
comedian Chris Rock explores
the futile pursuit by women, to
find the perfect hair. While Rock
offers so many questions about
the pursuit of beauty, he never conclusively provides an answer
and in so doing, takes us back
to the starting point — there is no answer in artificial pursuit of
beauty. Cleanse your heart, be hygienic
and live healthy. You are
beautiful, and for all it’ s worth, you are handsome too, not as
judged by American pageantry,
but by the God who created
you or your hairy ancestors,
depending on who you believe in. "There is a thin line between
truth and fiction. This is that
line."