bacherlorhood, pain or pleasure ???

Yawn, Saturday noon, I roll out
of my single bachelor bed and
immediately I realize that my
throat is parched and I am
hungry. Should I cook? The
answer is simple, no, not now and not me. Why should I cook
yet a pizza is only a dial away?
I grab my cell phone and I don’ t even have to spin the dial to
make the phone call, pizza
delivery is on my speed dial; only
a button away. A few steps and
I am into the bathroom for a
quick shower, who needs a proper bath when there is
deodorant, antiperspirant and
perfume? Next, as I wait for my pizza to
be delivered, I remember the
events of last night. I was out
with the married boys and after
hard and long drinking, I was
the only one who had a pretty lady to go home with, at least
under the influence of alcohol
and darkness she appeared to
be. I chuckle to myself as the
delivery man rings the doorbell.
So, it seems I had another cavalier one night stand and
spent heavily on it, yet I broke
out of several “potential” relationships because they were
expensive and I wasn’ t ready for commitment, and expenses. I console myself with the good
pizza and a late afternoon nap;
why should I count my losses? It
is not fun to cook and being in
a relationship just smothers me
to death, and despite my conveniences of bachelorhood, I
still find myself relapsing into a
bag of emotions, always
rationalizing as to whether my
lifestyle is “correct” or otherwise. Eventually, I convince myself to
face my fears and confront the
truth. Compared to my “loser friends” who cook at home, I save the least amount of money.
That hit me as I went through
my bank statements and
realized my savings account had
nothing saved in it. Absolute
zero! Every weekend I have to pay for sex, indirectly, yet my
married boys enjoy the warmth
of pretty wives and the giggles
of little kids every day. I end up
thinking my married friends are
better off than I am; but as far as getting laid goes, I still think
bachelorhood wins. Wasn’ t it a bachelor who said, “The big difference between sex for
money and sex for free is that
sex for money usually costs
less?” My flow of thoughts continue: I
am not embarrassed being thirty
five and single, at times I feel
left out during my friends’ anniversaries and their
children’ s birthday parties. Some have subtly dropped me
from their family-friends-lists
and if they invite me, it is out
of pity and necessity. I pretend
not to care yet it hurts me to
be left out of the events, and to be left in when they go out. That was a few years back,
before I realized how my love
for “convenience” had almost ruined my life. Instead of eating
healthy, I ate conveniently and
got unhealthily fat; instead of
being hygienic, I took advantage
of the convenient smells from
perfumes and deodorants. Instead of being in a stable
relationship, I was an easy lover,
always available and always
giving. Eventually I succumbed to the
counsel of my conscience and
societal pressure and decided to
get married and live like a
“normal” man. But even then, I had to depend on convenience
for a wife; I met her over the
internet. Now I take long baths,
and not alone anymore, and I
have my weight and drinking in
check. As I wrote this, I realized that it was for “convenience” that I was a bachelor too long,
and it was for the same
convenience that I got married. Back to reality, even though I
am still in college and nowhere
near marriage, the thought of
having limited responsibility, food
on my doorstep and movies at
my beck and call is very exciting. However, at the same time, the
thought of losing shape, losing
relationships and losing hard
earned money is at the back of
my mind, only time will tell where
my battle with convenience will end