tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14053064906157953992024-02-08T05:14:39.776+03:00Jumeze's BlogMy place of thoughtZeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-30303652502119470662018-06-07T15:57:00.002+03:002018-06-07T15:57:55.270+03:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">When you come from a society that views anywhere that is across the border as heaven you may relate to today's topic. Most people don't know what they have until they actually miss it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">i come from a mid-sized country in the east of Africa proudly called Kenya. Many of you when you here Kenya everyone is like oh, Marathon and Starbucks coffee......... Yes, we are that plus many more too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Kenya is actually derived from a Maasai word that loosely translated means, the playing ground of the Gods. why would the people choose such a name you would be tempted to ask...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Kenya is just a spectacular place, you get the world acclaimed, white sandy beaches of the east African coast that runs all the way from the South coast on the border of Tanzania, the best being</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Diani Beach in Kilifi County</b></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Diani is the most popular and beautiful beach in Kenya. This long stretch of beach is located on Indian Ocean coast, 30 Km south of Mombasa. The beach provides a tranquil haven where you can relax and enjoy the warmth of the sun. Diani is renowned for its coral reefs, underwater sandbars, and widespread palm vegetation. The beach is a delightful location for swimming as well as surfing. If you want to have a calm chilled swim, walk along the beach, have a picnic with friends and family or engage in water sports, Diani beach is the best beach for all of these.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Did i mention that this beach is in the top ten beach destinations in the whole world</span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGyV9OJuPrG0w6iIQ0vyDEnUnqOBlWukkAyMnempeYTGmyu7iuG2ItU28anPAcE8UA7C5eYOeRlQYaqwf4vHy2zjTi1_BxlPuwtkHoCcKTI1B_taW8xNcfC0qNFK9_YuKm72WIDBoBcnMq/s1600/Diani-Beach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="800" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGyV9OJuPrG0w6iIQ0vyDEnUnqOBlWukkAyMnempeYTGmyu7iuG2ItU28anPAcE8UA7C5eYOeRlQYaqwf4vHy2zjTi1_BxlPuwtkHoCcKTI1B_taW8xNcfC0qNFK9_YuKm72WIDBoBcnMq/s320/Diani-Beach.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Nyali Beach in Mombasa County</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">Nyali beach is one of Kenya’s best beaches that offer a calm and relaxing ambience. The beach is located in Mombasa, surrounded by magnificent beach resorts that offer deluxe accommodation. Apart from the normal beach activities that you can do around Nyali like sunbathing, swimming and playing with sands and building sand castles, it’s also a good location for surfing. The beach is never overcrowded and offers lots of space for privacy.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl2FFDDKWhwWCxRSNfMHDlFOw2zhxh2uYvv9S6eeKeziCaxlPUybv1V_ZuiyTntA3R33lSCyRoircdn6D2VLTOnuLk8Gwyd9niE1Rd0XHa-zwMrJnMTcNYJcnn3R3syrtqgvCRt6fBwtng/s1600/Nyali_Beach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="800" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl2FFDDKWhwWCxRSNfMHDlFOw2zhxh2uYvv9S6eeKeziCaxlPUybv1V_ZuiyTntA3R33lSCyRoircdn6D2VLTOnuLk8Gwyd9niE1Rd0XHa-zwMrJnMTcNYJcnn3R3syrtqgvCRt6fBwtng/s320/Nyali_Beach.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKyNI-OmhyPT3DjuEx3dW_g0Zl9UHbhg2uXb3-Ouazu4F2VKMDC-uNwua4W8x-3nKKK1_v-PKBdT2AxxLgJhdDAdH2r58Mv658vTjZIL88AXUTtlA6s7v3y6Qoiaf230fvlTk0KHHmsA92/s1600/nyaligolfimg2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKyNI-OmhyPT3DjuEx3dW_g0Zl9UHbhg2uXb3-Ouazu4F2VKMDC-uNwua4W8x-3nKKK1_v-PKBdT2AxxLgJhdDAdH2r58Mv658vTjZIL88AXUTtlA6s7v3y6Qoiaf230fvlTk0KHHmsA92/s320/nyaligolfimg2.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Rusinga Island Lodge</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Takawiri Island</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Mfangano Island Lodge</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Impala eco lodge</span></div>
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Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-1668164040888955172018-06-06T18:14:00.001+03:002018-06-06T18:27:21.794+03:00WICKED AND SINGLE at the same time really<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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My girlfriend called me on phone and said: </div>
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"Hello honey, you know I love you so much, I have been looking for a way to prove more of my love for you. Please, Baby, I want you to come to my house for a lunch with your friends."<br /></div>
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I asked her, " When?"<br /></div>
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She replied, "Any day you get the opportunity just alert me in advance"<br />I said okay and the date was fixed.<br />I started informing my friends about it and they all agreed to go with me, some suspended what they would have done just to follow me to her house as demanded.</div>
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<br />On the D-Day, I and my friends were set to leave and I called her, "Baby we are on the way to your house", and she replied, "Oh, baby I can't wait to see you guys".</div>
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When we got close to her house, I called her again to let her know that we are close to her house, she<br />replied: "Baby are you serious?" And suddenly burst into laughter,</div>
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"Hahahahahaha, I was only joking, you know how we normally joke YAWA."</div>
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<br />I was embarrassed but I pretended and ended the call. I asked my friends to know if they heard my<br />conversation with her but they didn't, so I told them that she asked us to wait at the hotel that she will soon join us soon. </div>
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We left for the hotel and I ordered for their needs. Shortly I picked up my phone and shouted:<br />"WHAT? Guys we need to leave here now, I just received information now that Boko Haram are on their way to this place" and we all left the Hotel. None of my Friends knew what had happened because it would have been so shameful.</div>
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<br />IT'S NOW MY TURN TO JOKE...<br />A week later, I called her, "Baby I just received a letter from my Village that I should come home for my Chieftaincy Title and they said I should not come without taking a wife. You know you are the only one I have so I want to inform your parents and they should fix a date for our introduction and it should be next week because we need to leave for the village before this month runs out".<br />She was so happy and she informed her parents just as I ordered.<br />They started preparing and everything was in order.<br />On the fixed date, I was in the office when my phone rang, she was the one calling, "Baby<br />where are you?"<br />I replied: "We are close to your house", she happily said, "Okay."<br />After a while, she called back to know where I was again, "Baby where are you?"<br />Then I replied: "Baby are you serious you believed what I told you?<br />Hehehehe I was only joking YAWA, You know how we usually joke".<br /></div>
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That was how the fight started and am now single again, apparently, I am wicked.<br />PLEASE AM I WICKED ??????</div>
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Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-25123179896917892702018-06-06T02:29:00.001+03:002018-06-06T02:29:22.455+03:00intro<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
You know you are a student in Korea and KAIST in specific when you cant be able to differentiate morning from night, when you buy toothbrushes in double and even put an extra set of inner wear at the lab for those days when you cant go back to the kisuksa dorm to change, since you have been pulling an all nighter trying to grasp a concept.<br />
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For all those who yearn to join this great school, by any means necessary, please come, i mean why wouldn't you want to study at the most prime institute of science and technology in asia and probably in the top 5 in the world, please come join us in this great school that has minds from all over the world, wiith Koreans , pakistanis, indians, africans, arabs, mexicans, dominicanas, brazilians finns, swedes, Kenyans americans of course, come join this model society. but be prepared to work your ass off. e prepared for the pressure. be prepared for the worst in learning</div>
Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-86829853337948479802018-05-30T00:53:00.001+03:002018-05-30T00:53:47.852+03:00Corruption and the death of Industries in West Kenya<p dir="ltr">There was a railway line running into Nzoia Sugar Company (I was about to say "when I was a child" then realised it was just the other day). It was very busy. Goods trains (we called them "Bogi", I don't know what that meant) would come in regularly to pick up goods. Sugar, Molasses...even Bagasse. There were trucks from everywhere in long queues to pick up products. The factory fed millions. From farmers to sugar traders. Thousands of employees to third level beneficiaries like Saccos. When it closed for a month every year for annual maintenance, hundreds of companies would descend on it to spruce it up, from America's Arkel International to local welding firms owned by random Wafula and Wasike. Like similar factories around Nyanza and Western, the local township relied entirely on the factory. Just like Muhoroni, Awendo, Miwani, Chemelil, Mumias and the paper one in Webuye, these plants were the lives of the people there, and their dependants spread over miles. Farmers were paid. The outgrower cooperatives like NOCO were so powerful that future MPs were hardened in their ranks. Schools readily accepted cheques drawn by sugar companies, their Saccos and the outgrower Saccos. Heck, even Muhindi cane transport contractors were believable people and their word was their bond! On payday at Nzoia Sugar, all trading centres within 20 kms radius of Nzoia Sugar had their market day! Bukembe, Sikata, Mabanga, Mwibale, Mechimeru, Sang'alo, Nandolia. These factories were powerful. And this was replicated in all the factories across Nyanza and Western.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Then we heard rumours that these plants were being looted. That people were importing cheap sugar and ours couldn't compete. Slowly, we could tell from the faces of our parents that things weren't going so well. People were harvesting their sugarcane then planting something else. Before long, we were old enough to know the truth. Especially because we saw cotton disappearing too. Previously, every five kilometres of road in our land had a place called "Store Pamba". There was a plant called Kicomi in Kisumu. In the summer, yoi could stand on the road and the plains would be pure white from Kibigori on the foot of Nandi Hills, to Onyuongo Store Pamba, on the banks of River Awach, deep there in Nyakach. Then we heard of a word called "liberalisation". We were told we couldn't compete with Gikomba. Our cotton went. Our sugar was going. But we could still look across the river and see Ahero Irrigation Scheme. My people called it "Regesen". In my childhood, it was the only place with electricity in the neighbourhood, so we used to stay out in the dark to watch its shining beauty. Then it died too!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Benga legend, Owino Misiani, did an emotional song called "Nam Rumo", which translates to "the lake is becoming extinct". In it, he bemoans the death of all industries in our land, then tells community leaders that now that we had lost everything, they should not let us lose the fish! That our fish was now our last frontier. Even though we were producing the fish but the fish processing factories were all in Thika! What do you know, now ships are docking in Mombasa bringing Chinese fish! Then they hit the road to Kisumu. Our fish, our last frontier is staring at its death bed too!</p>
<p dir="ltr">You know something else, nobody spoke for us as all these happened. Sometimes I see River Nyando flowing just behind my home and I am surprised nobody has diverted it into a private dam upstream! Corruption and official looting are easier to understand when you look at them from a tribal angle. Now, we Luos and Luhyas, whose factories have been looted dry, what more can anyone steal from us. Our children now sit their Form 4 exams and head to Kibra and Kawangware to look for manual jobs. We are so poor that when the NCPB Kisumu Edition of the scandal was exposed last week, all the players in the team were Kipthis and Kipthat! The granary is bang in the middle of our land, but the products kept in it, plus the keepers and the thieves, came from elsewhere. How about that! Those Coastals who are squatters in their own ancestral land, what more can you loot from them? Their sugar at Ramisi died. Their cashewnut died. Even their pweza, the Chinese now hunt with trawlers!</p>
<p dir="ltr">We have been looted so dry that we can only watch nonchalantly as the next tribe gets eaten. When KCC was dying, I kept wondering; how does an enterprise collapse when its raw material is in every square inch and the market for its finished product expands by the hour? They didn't see it coming. Now their maize is up next! Soon you will hear "let's plant avocado, maize is hasara!". We were there 30 years ago. We were told cotton and sugar were bad, that we should plant pepper (apilo) and amaranth (ododo). Erowa. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Poverty is the greatest tool of slavery. On one episode of NCIS Los Angeles, a man whose family has been kidnapped so that he can give gangsters the formula for a secret military weapon, says "they first take away your choices, then they control you". Our choices were looted away. They are coming for your Tea, Maize, Coffee and Milk! Then you will all be like us.</p>
<p dir="ltr">My contribution, and that of millions of others, was to go to the ballot five times to elect someone I thought would overhaul the entire system. Someone who would recalibrate the governance style and give us a fresh start. Across the isle, others went to the ballot to affirm their faith in the exact system that babysits this looting. I have done my part. I will not speak up anymore. I would like the whole country looted dry so that we understand each other. Then maybe we can have a discussion as equals. I don't think the "hardworking tribes with money" will understand our needs, we poor people from lazy tribes. I don't think the resignation or sacking of two people can remove an evil system that has shown its uncanny ability to move from one regime to the next like a virus. So I won't speak up, just like nobody spoke up when my people gathered their belongings and crossed the river from Miwani as the boiler smoke died away.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The books I read tend to say that an entrenched system is almost always removed by only three methods;</p>
<p dir="ltr">1. A popular uprising that removes the entire ruling class.</p>
<p dir="ltr">2. Wars</p>
<p dir="ltr">3. Military coups.</p>
<p dir="ltr">None will happen in our country, so let's wait for the more predictable death of all industries so we can have a national discussion.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Meanwhile, people of the information age think looting started with NYS. Looting started as soon as the white man lowered the Union Jack and the blackman screamed Haraaaaaambeeee! Those huge tracts of fertile land, the 80% of our elephants poached, 95% of our rhinos, the billionaires created within ten years of independence....you think that was work?</p>
<p dir="ltr">But I don't care!</p>
Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-49097273353223792132018-05-21T17:28:00.000+03:002018-05-21T17:28:33.583+03:00Crazy thoughts of a Philosopher 21st May 2018<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Have you actually thought about religion critically.......<br />
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In Africa where i come from you look at the different people masquerading as prophets bishops and men of the cloths whatever they prefer to call themselves and their antics and you are left to wonder, what exactly is this Christianity, what exactly does this religion madness truly entail.<br />
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i took a course in my undergraduate at Egerton called philosophy and the lecturer made us aware that the essence of philosophy is to empower the individual to be a critical thinker that can question anything and everything that is happening around them so as to come out with the most logical explanation to an outcome.<br />
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The Bri'ish and the Germans and Italians came to African with religion, and as they purported to preach christianity they stole our lands, our minerals and colonised us, but have you ever asked yourself prior to the white come coming to the dark continent the land of the nyamwezi, the shona, the pokomo the ashanti and alll the sub tribes of the different regions of africa, what were these savage men worshipping, does it mean that The God of the Bri'ish and the white man never knew that the blacks of Africa existed. Clearly, something is amiss somewhere, hadn't the white man come amidst us and blessed us with religion does it mean all of Africa was destined to die in eternal fire and anguish ???????/<br />
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Back to philosophy, we were asked to read a writing by one St. Thomas of Aquinas who is one of the accomplished catholic scholars both in theology and philosophy , titled, reasons why God exists and Reasons why God doesn't exist, in his book he goes on to critic and lay bear Christianity and the beliefs of the existence of God, in the negated version also he goes ahead to elaborate the reasons why he believes God exists and why you should hold true to the faith and the beliefs of the church. One thing i got from this reading was that man is a creature who likes to make everything have a reason for being the way it is, he seeks to have everything have a rational explanation so as to quench his thirst of want and need. Why on earth then would we base our lives on religion based on the account of 66 books written by some 60 or so people who we believe were inspired by God and The Holy Spirit to convince us that he does exist and that he is all powerful. if you read William Shakespeare's King Leah you will learn that it was believed that King Leah was Gods chosen hand on earth and just a mere touch from the king was enough to heal subjects from any ailments they suffer, i don't know if this is true or its just literature from the great writer Shakespeare but these things have had me thinking a lot these past two weeks.<br />
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Now back to my country, that is where you have cons masquerading as men of the cloth, people who will convince a multitude of people to consume Dettol antiseptic on the notion that it will drive away evil spirits, men and women of God who will hire people to give false testimonies to the congregation just to hoodwink the other vulnerable to join the church and give him money in the name of blessings and tithe. its only in Kenya and Nigeria where a man of the cloth prays for believers by touching their private parts in the guise that this will give them blessings, one called Pr Kanyari, you can google him, was caught by the media and recorded performing fake miracles, just using basic knowledge of chemistry to hoodwink people, but still you find that he has followers in his church, people who despite the revelation bestowed upon them decide to be blind deliberately and still believe that this is a Man of God. I don't think that the God who the white man brought and who has conditioned us to believe is the most superior and loving God calls such kind of ministers his own, but who am i, all i can do is watch and blog about it here.<br />
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in conclusion, i will leave you with a little wisdom from St. Thomas Aquinas, he who is a great Catholic scholar and philosopher of his time with his words. there are so many words that can prove that God does not exist and an equal measure of reasons why Christians and religions believe he exists, all these things boil down to believes, . what you believe informs your choice. Choose ye whether it will be God or Not. but think about it like this, assuming you don't believe and then it happens that He exists, and you get condemned to everlasting fire, that wouldn't be good would it. on the other hand, if you believe him and on that judgement day of his coming you get to go to heaven with him, that would be a good thing, right. so in all instances, all you have is gain gain gain<br />
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As i hear the library bell asking me to go out since its about closing time i remind you of great African oral literature and dirges of Hare and Lion or of proverbs of Elephants and men competing in medieval Africa, they were meant to shape the society behaviour and the society morals and to sway them towards what was perceived as good moral behaviour.<br />
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as you go, think critically as it strengthens your beliefs. Thu Tinda......................</div>
Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0291 Daehak-ro, Guseong-dong, Yuseong-gu, Daejeon, South Korea36.3693921 127.364024910.6376946 86.0554309 62.101089599999995 168.6726189tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-32589213947303448892018-05-20T16:53:00.000+03:002018-05-20T16:53:24.606+03:00WHEN THE ROLL IS CALLED UP YONDER<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I happened to bump into Bill Gaithers group singing this piece, which Got me thinking, will i be there when the roll is called up yonder on the day,.........<br />
i am in deep thoughts, how is my walk with Christ beyond the doors of church and publicity<br />
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Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-52396621326726894452018-05-19T12:40:00.000+03:002018-05-19T12:40:07.717+03:00MAY 19th 2018 Lost Looking for National Cemetry only to discover the Daejeon wORLD cUP sTADIUM<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
https://photos.app.goo.gl/VDlSOHMTycHTzSyE2</div>
Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-67819827006888538262018-05-18T13:33:00.000+03:002018-05-18T13:33:27.417+03:00I AM NOT SLEEPING, "AYAM" THINKING<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
In Swahili we have a saying that says there are only 3 things in this life that are sweet and they are, Food, Sex and Sleep. My guilty passion, however, is Sleep. we have had this affair with sleep from the time i was in primary school the equivalent of elementary school in Korea, you see back then i could study but since sleeping in class was a terrible no, no, the only opportunity to sleep was at home.<br />
in elementary school we could report to school from 6.30 am till 5.30pm with 3 breaks in between, one at 10.30 for you to go buy snacks to eat and munch but if you were a poor mans son like myself it was an opportunity to go beg someone to share their snack or to just go play football and come back to class reeking of sweat. the second break was lunch time that ran from 12.45 to 1.30pm where we could go fight over who would be the first to buy Chapati Soup with Ice ya chwaa, Chapati is like tortilla but heavier than tortilla and sweeter, the soup is just the soup you know but in most cases its of beans stew, since beans was Kshs 20/= IF you buy 2 chapatis and request for soup they would gladly give it to you free of charge so in esssense you are getting a full meal at the cost of one, and you drink it down with Ice, which is just ice with food colour and some sucrose packaged in a small polythene bag. The third break would be between 4-4.15pm when we prepared for the evening remedial lessons that ran until 5.30 pm<br />
<br />
Back to sleep, at home, my dad who had been retrenched from the civil service during the economic disaster that was the Moi Governments tenure would be waiting for me ready for chapter 2 of school, where i would take a shower, drink the porridge in the flask and probably watch THE BEAT on Nation TV or KTN's <span style="background-color: #f6f7fa; color: #333333; font-family: "Roboto Slab", serif; font-size: 18px;">Jamadelics, Rap-Em, Rastrut, Rythmix and Kass Kass depending on the day, i was expected to be on the dining table by 7pm to start on homework and personal studies. which i would do until 10pm or 11pm that would later run to 1pm when i was in class 8. My dad was always the teacher on duty not to help me with the homework but to ensure that i studied my ass off, that's the kind of sacrifice he had. he would be there reading a newspaper that he had probably read over and over again.</span><br />
<br />
one time i decided to lay my head on the table to read at an angle and i must have dozed off. i must have started snoring or he must have realised that the pages had not been turned for a long time, so he called "JUNIOR ARE YOU SLEEPING ?" heheehe i was not going to get caught. " I WAS THINKING ....." was my response, all i remember is my father laughing and excusing me to go and sleep. Yaani i don't know from where the answer came from because it was evident i was sleeping.<br />
<br />
Thu Tinda............<br />
( If you learned Kenyan literature and you don't know the meaning of Thu Tinda you need to go back and claim your fees from the hedemasta) </div>
Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-804797964856548922018-05-16T17:09:00.001+03:002018-05-16T17:09:40.844+03:00May 16th Shoes that dont fit<p dir="ltr">I have this weird thing in my head. I want to vent here but am skeptical at most. Am usually very worried that the person who reads this post nay feel its about them or targetting them which is never the case. So i usually find myself writing and deleting so many times before i hit the post button. But sometimes its just pure ly done at the moments space.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Dear blog. Today has been a slow day . Today has been a good day . Today has been a tad boring day . Yesterday i saw this amazing eye catching Nike airmax shoes at the kaist convenient shoes and i felt to myself i have to get myself a pair since it was at a discounted price and i badly need new shoes to  give my blue polo kicks a breather. You see i have been eyeing these shoes for a while so after trying them on at the department store and they refuse to fit. The devil convinces me just to buy them and to go and try them at home, maybe its the pressure of being in the department store that is making these size 9 shoes not to fit into a solid size 10 feet (shetani iliniroga ilikufa ) . I take the darn things home despite the advice of the ajuma selling at the shop but her being wise she makes sure to inform me that if they dont fit i can return. I hop onto my bicycle and off i head to the doem where i fight with the shoes for over 3 hours trying to work out a miracle tbat could warrant me a place in the mocie the greatest showman . But to no avail. After the 3 hour trial i give up and throw the darn things carefully in the closet to return them back to the duka kesho.<br>
We will not talk about the night though because that was the longest night i have had in a long time and it was not an easy one. <br>
Since most lecturers were off for the spring jeju seminar trip today most classes bounced which was good for my head that was too heavy to wake up despite the several multiple alarms i had set to wake me up, i think after the 5th snooze my phone gave up on me and just decided why should i disturb myself yet its clear that this twat aint wakong up anytime soon. It must be one of the new AI phones currently being marketed by samsung i mean why would it just give up like that on me was i that bad of a client for it to give up so easily. It reminded me of my life maybe i should also give up on sime of these challenges that are facing me easily . Its just not wortb the fihhts i put.</p>
<p dir="ltr">At anout 4pm it was time to check into the only class for the day where almost everyone boycotted except but a few of us. The teacher has marked me in this class to be good at the subject matter so any attempt by self to dodge will ever be noticed and the questions always come in hordes for me to ask. She will be like " 제파니아 !!!!!!" Whats this or how do you explaon this concept .... the class took like forever to end and the one and a half hours seemed like a gazillion minutes and seconds sent by lucipher himself to temp our patience. Remember kaist festival is going on and the music being played outside the E11 lecture building where we are aint helping, i wouldnt mind going to listen to some BTS et al.  The watch should move at this pace when i sleep also not only when i am on a boring class and then ingest some energy drink when its time to sleep only to start lamenting after some ten minutes that its time to wake up. We will form a commission of enquiry into this topic. We must get to the bottom of it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">After class i head to the convenience store to the welcome of the ajumma lady smiling and laughing herself out. She must have thought to herself. Look at this banana loving monkey. I told him the shoes wouldnt fit his barmuriat feet but he insisted. She asks me for the receipt and my card and transfers the whole amount back to my card. What a kind lady and what a system that refunds youbif the goods dont match. Had it been back in kenya. Ile vita ningeleta weh. Mngejua hamjui. Its now something past 6.30 and since summer is kicking in the days seem longer and it looks like its still 3pm. I jump into or is it onto my bike and rush back to the main gate to chase a bus for TLC.</p>
<p dir="ltr">We will talk about TLC soon. Now i am walking home. Thank you for listening to me </p>
Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-72814736289757184802018-05-15T20:35:00.000+03:002018-05-15T20:36:40.181+03:00Of Daejeon and the Torture of Staying Abroad in Korea<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">When going abroad one has to consider so many things, the difference in culture, language, food, dressing and so many things. But no one ever told me that the worst bit about it would be sex and horniness, I mean, its been almost 7 months already and i am about to burst, do you know how it feels like to go to a candy store like the chocolate factory of Willy Wonka as a child with all this chocolate and not be able to take a bite. The Korean girls dress in a manner that will really disrupt your system and your willpower and coupled with the fact that summer is here.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">You see I am a racist, I like my food cooked and smoked tender, black and sweet, but these Koreans uuuuuuwi, a girl will be putting on these tu small hotpants that is only threatening to hide the nether areas and expose the fine silk like legs, that are so tempting to touch, the nicely formed legs, the not so big butts, but who are we kidding we can overlook that anytime, My God I am dying in this land, i wish i was fluent enough in Korean to approach one and hit out a conversation with one, i have tried a gazillion dating apps, sijui tinder, korean dating and all those apps to no avail, shida iko wapi. NEKE MODO</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Today i wish i can articulate my frustrations and unending desires to get laid, but i just can't put it down. if you are planning to come to Korea and Daejeon in specific make sure sure you have enough sex, as much as you can back in your home country especially if you are black or African, that is like double tragedy, make sure you have it to your full, because you will have the worst and longest dry spell ever in your life. i remember my friend kept on assuming i am hitting on my fellow Kenyan lady friend, i mean, she checks all the correct boxes, but one has to hold self back, and you have to look at the bigger picture, do i really want to break this good friendship.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">as i sign off, off i am to Gung-Dong in the hope of meeting up with any lady even just to have a conversation with</span></div>
Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0291 Daehak-ro, Guseong-dong, Yuseong-gu, Daejeon, South Korea36.3693921 127.364024910.6369021 86.0554309 62.1018821 168.6726189tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-65950102134093591472018-05-14T13:10:00.001+03:002018-05-14T13:10:47.928+03:00LEARNED IDIOT<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I grappled with myself how to title this edition of the blog, i kept on thinking what exactly can describe some of the people i meet in class and still i feel that title doesnt necessarily portray my feeling towards the said people.<br />
You see from where i come from, we are taught that its better to understand a concept than just to cram and master a concept then you will be able to apply the concept no matter the situation and scenario that it will be needed.<br />
this grown ass man, will............................................................................<br />
<br />
HASIRA IMEPANDA, WACHA NI BREAK KIDOGO</div>
Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-49719471335182300852018-05-13T17:06:00.000+03:002018-05-14T01:45:54.515+03:00Mothers Day<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Yesterday was Mothers day, everybody is very busy in facebeook wishing their mothers happy mothers day but how many actually called their mothers to wish them the mothers day that they so glamourously put out on social media i bet not even half did that it goes to show how much our infatuation with social media and peer pressure runs. Back to me.</div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> Now you see my mum has been one of those mums who buys the latest smartphones just to receive calls and send mpesa and kusoma messages. so she got curious of this thing that all her kids seem to be hooked up on, you see when we are in the house everyone only talks about facebook, even my dad is hooked up on this facebook thing and at times uploads embarrasing selfies of himself in the shamba with a jembe or in a duka somewhere drinking soda ya fanta. So my mum asked my 2 sisters " ata mimi nataka muniingize facebook " loosely translated to i also want you guys to help me join facebook. my sisters dreading the thought of their mum joining facebook and sending them friend request and being that they were broke decided to play a trick on her hoping it will bore fruits.</div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> " Mama facebook watu hawaingii bure, lazima ulipe membership fee ya 1000/= kshs " </div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Hehehehe you can imagine her shock, then she slows down to think. Lakini nyinyi mlitoa wapi hii 1000 mnataka. Siwaamini. She goes ahead to call my younger sister who just laughs at the idea and hangs up. As we speak today she is still looking for that 1000 bob to join facebook.</div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Happy mothers day</div>
Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-11573575165820215162018-05-13T04:31:00.002+03:002018-05-13T04:31:48.173+03:00The Return<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well its been a while since i poured my gibberish on the net, and boy do i have alot of stoies to tell, we will talk about my heartbreak while in Egerton University, i have to tell you about the hustles of the job market and i hope the korean stories and the amazing experience i am having, first i have to talk about Paula, Now you see Paula is this fine lady i met in Korea, this fine daughter of the nile definately has to be a subject in this blog, you definately want to read about her .. hheheheehe. keep it locked</div>
Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-25230524975646152742014-11-30T02:20:00.000+03:002014-11-30T02:20:33.070+03:00to be<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
There is inside you<br />
all of the potential to be whatever<br />
you want to be<br />
all of the energy to do whatever<br />
you want to do.<br />
<br />
Imagine yourself as you would like to be,<br />
doing what you want to do,<br />
and each day, take one step<br />
towards your dream.<br />
<br />
And though at times it may seem too<br />
difficult to continue,<br />
hold on to your dream.<br />
<br />
One morning you will awake to find<br />
that you are the person<br />
you dreamed of<br />
doing what you wanted to do<br />
simply because you had the courage<br />
to believe in your potential<br />
and to hold on to your dream.</div>
Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com63tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-17794485397743770232012-03-25T01:16:00.002+03:002012-03-25T01:16:34.789+03:00that august houseKibaki: “Hizo mawezere wezere wezere wezere ….”<br />
Karua: I beg your pardon?!<br />
Kibaki: Bloody bure! I was just singing to myself<br />
Mwakwere: Are you from Coast?<br />
Marende: Order! Order! Any member can sing if he is feeling sufficiently philanthropic!<br />
Kalonzo: It’s like I was telling my constituents the other day. A country is like an eighteen wheeled lorry painted green with “Rough Riders: Ride Or Die” painted on the rear windscreen with a colobus monkey, a banana and a rabbi in the front seat …<br />
Charity: And?<br />
Kalonzo: I forget at this point the point I was trying to make. But it was very important!<br />
Mutula: Not as important as my proposal. I propose all roads be expanded as follows: One lane for the president, one for the prime minister, one for cabinet members, one for the police and fire brigade, one for left handed people, one for right handed people, one for people under 6 feet, one for people over six feet, one for people who watch Tyra and one for people who watch Oprah. I also propose that all roundabouts be expanded with smaller roundabouts being put inside the larger roundabouts.<br />
Nyongo: (Sarcastically) Indeed.<br />
Kimunya: If I may speak…<br />
Ntimama: Quick! Someone please check that the chambers have not been sold to the Libyans!<br />
Mwakwere: Are Libyans from Coast?<br />
Bifwoli: Are we been served tea in this meeting?<br />
Ruto: You and food!<br />
Bifwoli: (Indignantly) Me? ME?! Look at you! You are covered by a very thin film of a powdery substance ….<br />
Ruto: It is NOT maize flour! Besides, is it a crime to wallow, roll and swim in maize?<br />
Bifwoli: Well ….<br />
Kiraitu: Pff! Krrkmmzz. Grrggnnn<br />
Bishop: Glowreh! Someone please help that Son of God from choking. Glowreh!<br />
Karua: He’s not choking. He’s laughing<br />
Nkaiserry: Is it just me or does someone here smell powerfully of diesel?<br />
Kiraitu: Can you ngo srow on this matter. I don’t have anything to do with the fuel shortage<br />
Sambili: Can we focus my friends. We have a crisis in Kenyan football.<br />
Raila: You know, football is like a game of football.<br />
Magara: Hear hear!<br />
Poghisho: Focus everyone. Can we discuss the Hague?<br />
Mwakwere: Bless you<br />
Poghisho: But I’ve not sneezed<br />
Mwakwere: Sorry. Go on<br />
Pohgnisho: Should we support the Hague…<br />
Mwakwere: Bless you! Is there a flu epidemic in the house?<br />
(Ngilu whispers in his ear)<br />
Mwakwere: Oh! The Hague! I get you, I get you. Is it in Coast?<br />
Mungatana: Let us discuss critical issues affecting the country. Did you know that GTV folded last week and I had paid for 3 months in advance!<br />
Raila: Who is Mungatana???<br />
Ngilu: Can Saitoti have a written statement delivered to our offices by tomorrow on this matter?<br />
Saitoti: There come a time! There come a time!<br />
Nyongo: Tell it to the birds<br />
Saitoti: Garment takes it very seriously…<br />
Bishop: Government you mean<br />
Saitoti:That’s what I said. Garment.<br />
Mwiria: Can the Minister for Tourism explain why it cost the treasury 20 million for the President to go to the Mara? Outrageous!<br />
Balala: The Honourable member is speaking from a position of disinformation. The president did not actually go to the Mara. We flew all the Rhinoceroses (or Rhinoceri if you prefer), Hippos (or hippi), Lions (or Lioni), buffalos (or buffali), Elephants (or Elephanti), impala (or impali), camels (cameli) and assorted birds TO the president. Mohammed and the mountain of you get me. Flights cost money, especially since some of us are storing fuel in a manner likely to suggest resale at a future date for an exaggerated markup. The flights are catered and you know how camels drink!<br />
Ruto: Exactly. In fact maize was served on that flight!<br />
Balala: (Modestly) My ministry was also able to move a river and a small lake<br />
Mwakwere: If I may ask a question…<br />
Nyongo: (Irritably) Are you going to ask if Balala is from coast?<br />
Mwakwere: No<br />
Nyongo: Good<br />
Mwakwere: Are hippos from coast?<br />
Kiunjuri: If we might turn our attentions to the tisha strike.<br />
Beth: The what?<br />
Kiunjuri: The tisha strike.<br />
Beth: What is that?<br />
Kiunjuri: My esteemed colleague seems to be wallowing in a fetid morass or ignorance if she is unaware that those of the noble profession entrusted with imparting knowledge to our youngsters have downed their tools in a sustained campaign for improved remuneration. There is a tisha strike.<br />
Wetangula: You people missed history being made! When i was in America ….<br />
Bifwoli: Uuuuuuwi! Uuuuuuwi! Wetangula is a tiktater! Wetangula is a titkater!<br />
Marende: Order! Order! If Wetangula is feeling sufficiently philanthropic to go to America<br />
Mwiria: And watch the inauguration from the top of a tree ….<br />
Wetangula: That is neither here nor there. The fact is I watched it live.<br />
Magara:We need to investigate if the Obama inauguration was in fact live!<br />
Namwamba: Lucy Kibaki is the director of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. And Enron. And BCCI. In fact it’s no coincidence if you take the fourth letter of Hitler and add U, C and Y. Try it! Shocking stuff! A scandal!<br />
Kibaki: Bloody bure! I’m making some changes. From now on you call me either Mr President or The Emilio. In two weeks one of you will be fired.<br />
Bifwoli: Where’s our usual cup of tea?<br />
Ruto: I have made arrangements with … er … a catering company that will be providing us with maize porridge until the next election.<br />
Uhuru: My colleagues, the economic crunch is getting biting. Nowadays I am forced to share the same car as my driver! Outrageous!<br />
Kalonzo: Given that Button Moon is about to come on in the next half hour I beg of us to close this meeting and our allowances to be paid.Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-49211937767125939002012-03-25T01:16:00.000+03:002018-05-10T02:59:59.108+03:00the challenges of modernity, indigenous habits in a changing world<p dir="ltr">Strictly speaking, until recently the word “habitat” never struck a chord in me; it never rung a bell. When it came to understanding the concept of human habitat, I was the goat to whom the guitar was being played. I imagined of habitat as a weird and remote place where headless animals bump into each other and where legless animals crawl and where the fabled Lochness monster once lived in harmony with the mammoths and the dinosaurs, or something like that. But sometime back, I realized that my misconception of habitat was not a personal problem, many others perceived of habitat as a noun, a place, a region or an indigenous forest full of predators and preys and the other uncanny characters in the animal world.<br><br></p>
<p dir="ltr">It dawned on me, late, that “habitat” is a verb, a doing word. It is the way we live, what we eat and drink, how we cook and eat, or “not cook” what we eat. Habitat went beyond housing and people, it came to life and meant much more. Habitat is all that surrounds us and how we contribute to our surrounding and also encompasses our interaction with the environment. For example; how we treat the smallest animal in the house might just have a domino effect on the next meal we have, fumigation of beehives might mean no food for the rest of our lives. Habitat suddenly had this whole new meaning to it, and to attempt to fully define habitat, is like trying to define life. We live it, we have it, we lose it, we even conceive it, but we cannot define it fully, yet we know it is there and everything that we do affects it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">While most of us come from an addressed and specific apartment or home within an urban habitat, where mail boxes line the manicured streets and kids on bikes crisscross the neighborhood, several communities in some of the harshest habitats in the world do not know of such “civilized” existence. They walk around in medieval skin cloths and some even walk bare-chested; in a country where the breast and bra business is brazen and raw, such communities offer no business value and zero market. Some still eat raw meats and drink blood, fire is a luxurious indulgence and is only used on special occasions. But even with such “backwardness”, these communities have been able to conquer their harsh habitats and excel where most of us would definitely spend only a few days before going six feet under.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The Bambuti People of the Ituri Rainforest- The Democratic Republic of Congo</p>
<p dir="ltr">The average height for the quintessential American male is five eleven, I am not even close to that, maybe with a Chinese knee-job and heeled cowboy boots I might come close. Apart from the vagaries of the short man syndrome, does my height bother me? No. Why not, you may ask? Standing among the Bambuti people, I am a giant. In a community where the average height is between 50 and 70 inches, height is not an issue. The Bambuti people inhabit the Ituri forest in the Northeastern region of Congo and are about thirty thousand in number. With the war in Congo and everyone rummaging through the lush forest in search of lumber and uranium, the Bambuti are quickly losing their natural and only habitat. The Bambuti are hunters and gatherers, in the most elementary form of that word. <br><br></p>
<p dir="ltr">They hunt small animals in the forest and also forage the undergrowth for snails, bugs, insects and other animals. Crabs, shellfish, ants and larvae are essential part of the Bambuti diet. Antelopes are not only a big source of meat, but also used in dowry payments. However, despite living among a whole variety of forest flora and fauna, the Bambuti have so much food, they can afford to be choosy. Hogs and rats are considered un-kosher and as such, are not eaten. Clearly, everyone hates pigs.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The Bambuti, also called the Mbuti, do not keep livestock or rear mammals, reasonably because the forest is home to the biggest, fattest and deadliest tsetse flies which cause diseases in both cattle and human beings. Tsetse flies cause sleeping sickness in humans, but for a people whose habitat is almost self-sustaining, who worries about taking sudden naps in the middle of a bug gathering session? Too much rainfall in the forest kills the small animals or sends them away and too much drought also creates a famine, so for these tree-dwellers, life is one tough balancing act between nature, hunting and inevitable sleep. Accompanying the meats in the Bambuti diet is an array of vegetables, flowers, roots and tubers, for example, yams, amaranth, hibiscus, peanuts and gourds.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The Mbuti have an egalitarian system of leadership where there is no boss or chief, you are your own (short) man and when you offend others, they simply smack your short body back into discipline and sense. How cool? They also practice arbitrary barter trade, usually exchanging meats with other bands of Mbuti in the forest.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Have you ever had a crush on your friend’s sister and simply killed the thought since you could not imagine lusting after your friend’s own blood? Blame your ancestors for your woes, and broken heart! Among the Mbuti, marriage is by sister exchange between acquainted bands in the forest. See how easy it is to obtain your friend’s short sister in the forest, signed, sealed and delivered?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Dowry is uncommon among these people, but killing an antelope for your parents in law is usually a welcome method of showing gratitude to your in-laws. Despite their short lifespan, people of the Congo still consider the pygmies a sub-human species and there have been reports of cannibalism where people short of food look for short people and in a short while render humans food. It’s usually a short trip from the forest to the pot for a short species of humans.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The Maasai of Kenya</p>
<p dir="ltr">The Maasai are much more in number than the Bambuti pygmies, about a million of them traverse the plains of Kenya, as keepers of livestock and they also practice small scale subsistence agriculture. The Maasai are a semi-nomadic pastoral community who wander from place to place in search of greener pasture and fresh grass for their thousands of cattle. However, with recent trends in urbanization and the emergence of a middle class in Kenya, land that initially belonged to Maasai pastoralists is now being taken and used in a “more appropriate way”, a classic tragedy of the commons.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Wealth in the Maasai community is pegged on the number of cattle one owns, and also chiefly on the number of kids one has. Possession of either one without the much needed complement of the other is considered a sure recipe for poverty. Physically, the Maasai are much taller and lankier than the Mbuti pygmies. In a society where adolescent males, mythically, had to kill male lions, using a spear, in order to be inducted into the realms of manhood, physical fitness is a must have quality. Despite the Maasai being one of the main tourist attractions in Kenya, the government’s ban on lion hunt has led to the culture abandoning the spectacle and resorting to other modes of proving masculinity.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The Maasai live in small one roomed units called Manyattas which are made from twigs and leather and cow dung. The recipe for the “concrete” includes human urine and ash. Gross? Not really, when you consider the high efficacy of urine and ash as a pesticide, fungicide, herbicide, and the list goes on. And the cow dung? It ensures that the roof is water proof and air tight. The house, called an enkaji is about one and a half meters tall and in area, three by five meters. Due to the highly nomadic lifestyle of these plain dwellers, housing is but a temporary venture.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Marriage in the Maasai community is not as easy as it gets in the Mbuti community; however, it has its own idiosyncrasies. When a man gets a visit from another man, he is to relinquish his bed to the visitor, and it is then up to the lady in red to decide whether to sleep with the visitor, or not. It is a custom which gives equal opportunity to both men and women, since neither polygamy nor instances of polyandry are frowned upon. Weird or plain interesting?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Competition among the Maasai warriors, called the morans is intense, as with all other normal males. During dances, the morans, jump high as they sing and dance in order to find who jumps the highest without having his heels touch the ground. What makes the morans have so much energy as to be considered “to be of Olympic athleticism”? A diet consisting of milk, blood and meat provides the much needed protein for muscle growth and development, while maize meal provides the energy. An occasional drink made from the bitter leaves of the Acacia also provides a much needed cleansing for their systems and reduces their cholesterol, according to web sources. Having been born and raised in Kenya, I am yet to see a fat Maasai. Either I have not looked carefully, or they simply do not exist.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The Maasai clothing consists of bright red and black clothing. Usually pieces of red clothing are wrapped around the body and adorned with beaded ornaments and a few metallic jewels. A beautiful face, the Maasai say, needs no jewels. Mutilation of the ear is often seen as a measure of beauty, as is removal of canine teeth. The larger the stretch in the earlobe, the more jealousy you inspire. When it comes to hair braiding, no Kenyan communities are more adept at this skill than the Maasai. The morans braid their hair with finesse and then color it with red ochre.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The Maasai circumcise their boys, and “dump” them in one hut with no protection from the wild animals, in order to show their transition from boyhood to manhood. Prior to being locked in a hut, the boys are not expected to show any motion or emotion during the cutting of the foreskin, ostensibly to prevent any extra pieces of meat from being chopped off accidentally. A Maasai tradition that has obviously raised one big pandemonium among Kenyan activists is female genital mutilation (FGM). Despite the traditional Maasai terming it as a measure “against the pleasure principle”, FGM has been known to cause infertility, excessive loss of blood, lack of sexual stimulation and in some unfortunate cases, untimely death. While some Maasai have heeded the noble call to abandon this medieval act of evil, quite a considerable number of the older Maasai generation is still embroiled in this act. Also, in a community that is largely parochial, patronage against education of the girl child is still common. All in all, the Maasai are a colorful community with a capability to harness all the resources in a habitat where few are available. <br><br></p>
<p dir="ltr">There is a thin line between truth and fiction. This is that line.</p>
Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-57101610173818883952012-03-08T23:37:00.002+03:002012-03-08T23:37:51.397+03:00the atheist and the rainbowHe is an quite an intelligent guy my atheist friend, however, when he sent me an e-mail with a superfluity of quotes and sagacious anecdotes on faith, I knew that he was up to something deeper. There's something in every atheist, itching to believe, and something in every believer, itching to doubt. That is what my atheist friend, let’s call him Patrick, told me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
When I first told him of my faith in Christianity, I told him that I was not a regular churchgoer but nevertheless a staunch believer. He quizzically looked at me and asked me how that was possible. “How do you become a sailor without going to the sea?” he asked, ostensibly to ridicule my philosophy of online or telekinetic Christianity as he called it. I did not have a better answer than to slip open my confused mouth and smile and look upwards as if to leave it all to some unseen source for clarification. Apart from his heathen flip side that set us slightly apart, Patrick is not a “bad” person, whatever that means. Okay, I mean, he does not steal anybody’s maize nor uproot any country’s railway. He is the quintessential modern bachelor, except he lacks faith and facial hair.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Having grown up in a home where church was encouraged but not forced, Patrick had attended Sunday school as a means to escape the routine drudgery that is school. He did not care much for the baby who was rescued from the waters of the Nile (even though he insists that Migingo will not secede to Uganda while he is still alive) or his fellow escapist, Jonah or his part-time misbeliever Saul or any of the other lesson-filled stories found in the good book. His idea of church was founded on escapism. As a child, he used it to run away from the chalk waving teachers and as a nonbelieving adult, he uses church to excuse himself from work, to pick up potential girlfriends and to escape paying taxes.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
When he set out to find faith, Patrick did not believe that it existed, or that it could be found. He set out on a faithless mission to find faith just to prove me wrong, and he almost did. Even though my non-church-going self is not inspired enough to speak for the church, I went pious and waxed philosophical how it took the same amount of faith to be godless or a believer. As I spoke, I felt wiser, better than him and inspirational. This was my last shot at the ghost of atheism that had dwelt so long in my friend. I attacked it with holy verses. I jabbed at it with pugnacious prayers. I struck it with pithy discussions. Eventually, he (Patrick, not the ghost) looked at me with dead eyes and an unrelenting smile with one wave of his hands, dismissed me and told me to shut up; he’d heard it all before. I faithfully obliged.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
With that, his journey to find faith began, yet he still claimed that we believers were not far from being insane, if not an outright bunch of ignorant idiots. To my self-righteous self, Patrick’s was an imbecilic quest to seek faith because he had the strongest and unwavering of presumptions from the beginning that he was not going to find it. Hoping to strike a pot of gold, he followed the atheist’s rainbow, up the arch and down the slope. What he found at the end of the rainbow was a goose instead, the same goose that has been laying golden eggs for him for six years now. When I heard of his business ventures, I sought the story of his journey.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So, on his journey, he met all calibres of clergymen. He told me of men-of-the-cloth whose clothes could feed him for a decade, and of generous priests whose food handouts made them hungry for more flock, of flamboyant pastors who preyed on his infidelity and threatened him with horrific stories about hell and eternal damnation. He played the part of the confessional sinner and wept, wailed and spoke in spasmodic gasps and when he was ready to enjoy his golden eggs, he was happily baptized and trained in the art of using the church as a tax-exempt ladder to social and corporate wellbeing.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
He owns a church, not for the faithful and not by faith, for business. Patrick is now a corporate pastor in Nairobi. It has been six years since he established his ministry, that’s his goose. Even though he dresses like the rainbow he once chased, colorful suits and shiny cars, his sense of the expensive and tasty is inexplicably exotic. His hedonistic indulgence in “things of the world” is well documented in his memory as he told me of countless women, businesses and families that he had, in his own words, “torn apart”, he says this with a victorious smile and the cockiness of a tall, dark and handsome Luhya. From the prohibited ivory to the rare gold, the threaded linen to the threadless satin, his world is a now a royal mix of soft and shiny, illicit and legal and above all a blend of faith and doubt. He is still the same old atheist inside, with a staunch belief in the weaknesses of humanity.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
He professes to be a believer, but only to his Christian congregation whom he has a blessed stranglehold on. Even though his congregation is very wary of his expensive lifestyle, inexorable girl chasing and reckless drinking, the bon vivant has a growing following in his church; they follow him wherever he goes like hungry sheep would follow a grassy wolf. “They want what I have”, he tells me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
“How do you live with all this, a life of lies and treachery?” I asked him. He smiled, looked straight at me and with his fake bucolic accent, he explained how his calling to be an atheistic and self-serving “man of faith” was nothing worse than a teacher who does not believe in what she is teaching, or a builder who does not believe in the strength of his cornerstone, or the doctor who administers a drug while at the same time counting the hours before the patient dies. I looked at him, gave him a sardonic nod and prodded him on.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
“It’s the same twisted thing my friend, you believe but don’t act, I don’t believe but I act.” He told me as he rose to leave for the evening sermon before the evening drink.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"There is a thin line between truth and fiction. This is that line."Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-41316353131596256982011-06-20T01:13:00.001+03:002011-06-20T01:13:33.485+03:00We Are Who WeChoose To BeIf there be any one of us who<br />
truly understands and knows his<br />
deepest and true nature,<br />
blessed is he among men, and<br />
women. As soon as we are pulled<br />
into this world, literally, and slapped at birth, we start<br />
carving an identity for ourselves.<br />
The softies cry at birth after<br />
the slap, the hard-cores smile.<br />
That is when we start making<br />
milkshakes from the milk that life has to offer. As babies, at<br />
birth, we kick and struggle to<br />
get out of the same place we<br />
so much will struggle to get<br />
back in, at least in part. While<br />
some of us are “lucky” to go back, some never do. Others<br />
claim they like the “reverse” of nature better. The genteel and<br />
cultured christen such with mild<br />
sobriquets: lesbian and gay. The<br />
truthful and judgemental of us<br />
call them homosexuals. Asked if a<br />
gay couple can procreate, Harvey Milk says, “We can’ t. But who knows? We keep<br />
trying”. We are who we choose to be. Kwani jana kuliendaje? We do<br />
not indulge in drinking for the<br />
pleasure of it, as much as for<br />
the approval and fitting in.<br />
Whatever that means. Square<br />
pegs and round holes. That is what we make of our lives when<br />
we try to “fit in”. How many of us started drinking, and raving<br />
and smoking and doing drugs for<br />
the purpose of achievement? If<br />
there is, then he must be dead<br />
and gone. All of us, who do such,<br />
do it for we were told it’ s “cool”. Take smoking for example, what hedonic elf lies to<br />
our innermost souls that it is<br />
cool? Don’ t smoke. There are cooler ways to die. But again,<br />
the greatest of all gifts<br />
bestowed upon man is choice.<br />
Either the ability to discern and<br />
be wise, or otherwise. We are<br />
who we choose to be. Pride and prejudice. We interact<br />
only with those of our ilk and<br />
cadre. Those who know what<br />
LCDs are and how plasmas<br />
function. Those who know the<br />
tech behind the liquid crystal and the cathode ray tube.<br />
Those loud talkers and little of<br />
thinkers. Those who tell us what<br />
we want to hear and not what<br />
is true. But again, the truth<br />
always outs. Whether they have the candour to tell it like it is,<br />
or are cowards who’ d rather beat around the bush than go<br />
for the bush itself. Magellan, the<br />
Portuguese sailor, went round<br />
the world. While he did not<br />
complete his circumnavigation, he<br />
created a “truth” that most of us would rather circumvent for<br />
the bliss of instant gratification.<br />
The truth is, that the world is<br />
round, and what goes around<br />
comes around. We never know<br />
when those who think LCDs are some sort of food or cathodes<br />
have something to do with<br />
Catholics will be lifted up and<br />
become the next pope. Never<br />
should we despise others. But<br />
even if we do, it is our choice. We are who we choose to be. Holier than thou. Of Christianity,<br />
salvation and ostentation. Noses<br />
in the air. Weaves and wigs in<br />
place of hair. Those holier than<br />
us strut and stroll. Despite cat<br />
walking, they still see us as dogs. With painted nails and four<br />
shades of lipstick on two lips,<br />
they walk six-inches taller. Being<br />
taller, they look down upon the<br />
“unsaved”. The men in suits claim to be direct protégés of<br />
Christ and profess his counsel.<br />
Claiming that you can’ t pray for a pauper to own a Merc if<br />
you don’ t have one. Christians!!! What with the pretence? While<br />
many of us squirm at the<br />
thought of watching or making<br />
porn, in public, Betty Kaplan, a<br />
“Christian”, argues that porn is simply an art. An art of seeing<br />
the human body, or bodies,<br />
organized with finesse while<br />
having sex. Asks she, “What could be further from<br />
“humanity” than porn?” We have used the name of God in<br />
vain, albeit without drastic<br />
consequences. Calling ourselves<br />
saved and not showing that we<br />
are. What do we get saved<br />
from, for those of us who are? Sorry, it is all a matter of<br />
choice. We are what we choose<br />
to be. While we can’ t please everyone, we can very easily piss<br />
everyone. So, as we indulge in<br />
our veneer pretences, or drink<br />
ourselves silly to fit in, or smoke<br />
to be cool and avoid the heat<br />
of reality, or interacting with people discriminately (sic), or as<br />
we live our parents’ dreams instead of our own, or as we<br />
twang in Luo and Malayan<br />
accents simultaneously….we are what we choose to be. So, still I<br />
ask, who are you?Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-2216908044359166112011-06-20T01:11:00.001+03:002011-06-20T01:11:42.099+03:00The Intrigues of aFailing State : TheKenya We Want.The events in the country,<br />
whose history is enduring, in the<br />
past few months have shocked<br />
many, if not scared them. That<br />
a country whose governance<br />
systems were repudiated by friends and foe alike in the 60’ s is still grappling with the bitter<br />
aftertaste of ignoring such wise<br />
counsel is pitiable. Tribalism,<br />
corruption, unethical leadership<br />
and regression are just but the<br />
basic of problems that Kenya is struggling to deal with. Worse<br />
still, curbing primary challenges<br />
of humanity such as hunger,<br />
ignorance and poverty remains a<br />
threat to the very fibres of her<br />
society. Providing education, food, water and medical services<br />
for all remains all but achievable<br />
in the near future if the<br />
current ineptness of the<br />
systems endures. Last January, the spotlight was<br />
on Kenya, but for the wrong<br />
reasons. That was when the<br />
country smelt of death and<br />
smoke. The hope that springs<br />
eternal in all of us enabled us to go through that period and<br />
resiliently rise from the ashes<br />
like the proverbial phoenix. Later<br />
on, cases of internal<br />
displacement, school unrests and<br />
examination fraud, police brutality and road carnages,<br />
floods and drought among many<br />
others, dotted the year.<br />
Regrettably, this year has began<br />
on the same sad and deplorable<br />
state. Seeing images of fellow humans feeding on what<br />
hitherto had been classified as<br />
weeds and wild berries is beyond<br />
painful. Adding insult to injury is<br />
the ongoing rhetoric about<br />
“maize-thieves” by senior politicians while still not doing<br />
much, if anything, about the<br />
situation of the hungry. True,<br />
there is not a more inhumane<br />
death than dying of hunger and<br />
thirst in a free country. Being a satisfied refugee is “more human” by all parameters than being a hungry man in a free<br />
country. George Orwell’ s eclectic piece of literature-The Animal Farm-has<br />
been interpreted and<br />
misinterpreted over the years.<br />
However, any attempt to<br />
juxtapose the book’ s animals with the Kenyan politicians is all<br />
but preposterous, they fit<br />
perfectly like a jig-saw. Kenya’ s political leadership has proved to<br />
be one of the most inefficient in<br />
Africa in the recent past. While<br />
the leaderships of many of the<br />
failed states in West and Central<br />
Africa rule by the bullet, or sometimes by the sword,<br />
Kenya’ s leadership rules by the ever-dangerous word of mouth.<br />
Having perfected the act of<br />
double-speak and poisonous lip-<br />
service, ours is soon<br />
degenerating into a lawless<br />
society where some animals are more equal than others. Fancy<br />
cases of corruption have dogged<br />
the Kenyan government since<br />
independence. They have come in<br />
all shapes and colours. From the<br />
golden bars of the Goldenberg to the white grains of the maize<br />
scam and the flamboyance of<br />
the Artur mercenaries,<br />
corruption has become a<br />
phenomenon in the country’ s top leadership. All the regimes (read Kenyatta,<br />
Moi and Kibaki-Raila) have been<br />
doused in the stench and filth of<br />
graft and while time is fast<br />
flying by, the sleaze is<br />
deepening and becoming a soul- mate of Kenya’ s poor leadership history. Looting the<br />
country of billions with reckless<br />
abandon has created overnight<br />
millionaires and is still creating<br />
more of such treacherous<br />
politicians and business persons. It is only in Kenya where<br />
politicians whose names are on a<br />
list of shame, such as Waki’ s enveloped list, are allowed to<br />
walk free and hold top public<br />
offices, while still under<br />
investigation of funding,<br />
recruiting and organising<br />
hooligans to partake in the shameful and insensitive looting,<br />
killing and annihilation of society<br />
as witnessed during the 2007<br />
post election period.The tears,<br />
blood and sweat that have<br />
moved Kenya to where she is at the moment are soon running<br />
out. The worm has turned and<br />
the populace is getting restless<br />
for the time for the change<br />
that Kenya needs has indeed<br />
cme. It is high time our politicians start being accountable to the<br />
electorate over issues of<br />
governance and delivery of<br />
services. Is there a day when public<br />
hospitals shall be trustworthy<br />
centres of treatment and<br />
recuperation? Is there a day<br />
when public offices will deliver<br />
quality and efficient services instead of being safe havens for<br />
poorly paid and apathetic<br />
workers? Is there a day when<br />
public schools will match up to<br />
the lure of private schools? Will<br />
we ever see a Kenya where teachers will rejoice with the<br />
government and appreciate their<br />
salaries? Is there a time when<br />
national exams will be free of<br />
the filth of leakages and<br />
fabricated computer errors? Is there a season when the<br />
Budalang’ i floods that wreak havoc upon the inhabitants of<br />
the area be controlled and used<br />
for more beneficial activities? Is<br />
a day coming when we will<br />
demand for better leadership<br />
from our politicians? Will we ever be keen enough to see the<br />
corruption episodes being<br />
scripted and encrypted and not<br />
stay mum and unconcerned like<br />
we are now? Will we ever elect<br />
leaders based on ability and not on tribe and wealth? Will there<br />
be a time when we shall have a<br />
functional system of governance<br />
and taxable parliamentarians? I believe that day is coming.<br />
That day will come soon enough,<br />
but only if we, as Kenyans, are<br />
willing to open our eyes and see<br />
and then act. That day will come<br />
soon enough if we stop becoming ostriches with our<br />
heads in the sand. That day is<br />
soon coming, if we are willing to<br />
dream and are ready to pay<br />
the price to make that dream<br />
come true. The day will come soon enough if we take control<br />
of our leadership instead of<br />
letting the avarice of our<br />
politicians wipe out our society.<br />
They be the blind leaders of the<br />
blind, and if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the<br />
ditch. It is time for Kenyans to<br />
take over and to open their<br />
eyes. Yes we can!Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-17255930293378620822011-06-19T21:43:00.001+03:002011-06-19T21:43:45.267+03:00Understanding theChristian God: MyPerspective.If I am asked, anytime, what<br />
man’ s greatest invention of all time is, without hesitation, the<br />
cyberspace (internet and<br />
websites and all that soft-tech<br />
shebang) would be one of my<br />
immediate answers. I started my<br />
memorable “webcapades” when I was barely into my teens,<br />
consider the simple fact that<br />
browsing the internet was five<br />
shillings per minute and my lunch<br />
money was worth a mere four<br />
minutes at the cyber café. Anyway, I digress. When it comes<br />
to questioning the existence,<br />
“personality” and the nature of the Christian God, I am a<br />
fundamentalist. I simply believe<br />
that God is good, all the time.<br />
And all the time, God is good<br />
and that is His nature. Period.<br />
Questioning my theism is a no- no. However, this has not been<br />
without its fair share of<br />
challenges. Last week, while listening to Kris<br />
Kraayenoord’ s masterpiece, God of the moon and stars, some<br />
atheist, or better put, a<br />
humanist, commented and<br />
questioned the very rationale of<br />
Christianity. Wrote he, “He created Adam. Tempted him to<br />
the tree of knowledge, by an<br />
apple, through the woman. He<br />
succumbed to the serpent and<br />
fell. He banished them from the<br />
Garden of Eden and put fiery angels to guard the garden.<br />
Then He killed his son to save<br />
the same man…that is the Christian God for you.” I was shocked to say the very least.<br />
The atheistic courage and<br />
inquisitiveness of this man’ s imagination was beyond my<br />
understanding. I paused for a<br />
curious minute to fathom the<br />
pithiness in these words, if any. I found a lot of frailties and<br />
misinformation in the words of<br />
the curious cat. One, God never<br />
tempted Adam to the tree of<br />
knowledge. God simply armed<br />
Adam with the best gift He gave man. Choice! Man shares in<br />
God’ s moral nature (or does not). Sigmund Freud believed<br />
that the constant conflict<br />
between man’ s id, ego and super-ego determines whether<br />
we indulge in morality or<br />
otherwise. I agree with both the<br />
Freudian psychodynamic theory<br />
and the logic behind it. Adam<br />
was responsible for the original sin, and we are responsible for<br />
our subsequent sins which<br />
hitherto have created a pitiable<br />
continuum of illicit sex, murder,<br />
abortion, hatred, you name it.<br />
So, dear curious cat, God did not choose for Adam. Adam<br />
chose for Adam. The Christian<br />
God is a one of love and choice<br />
is part of love. Two, God did not “kill” His only begotten son for the sake of it.<br />
For your information, Jesus died<br />
for our, yours and mine, sins. If<br />
it were not so, then, we would<br />
have been banished from the<br />
very love that God has for us. The love that the father has<br />
for us is beyond mortal<br />
understanding. Casting Crown’ s Who am I? asks the question as<br />
to why God would be so kind,<br />
merciful and gracious to forgive<br />
us of our sins, even as we<br />
continue committing them, by<br />
omission and commission. What love? Romans says we all have<br />
sinned and fallen short of the<br />
glory of God, but the hand of<br />
God again, is not so short as<br />
not to bless! Neither is his<br />
hearing impaired that He cannot hear. God let Jesus die for us,<br />
because He loved and loves us.<br />
The greatest trait of<br />
Christianity certainly is love. And,<br />
God is love. Over the years, people have<br />
associated the Christian God,<br />
with several “ungodly” traits. Some says He is harsh. Example?<br />
He withdrew His spirit from Saul<br />
after he offered sacrilegious<br />
sacrifice against His will. But<br />
what does the Bible say about<br />
this perspective of Him? Obedience is better than<br />
sacrifice. If only we could be<br />
willing and strong enough to<br />
follow the laws of God, how<br />
wonderful would the world be?<br />
At times, I agree that our spirits are indeed willing but our flesh<br />
is weak, but certainly we can<br />
push ourselves a little harder<br />
and see the benefits of waiting<br />
upon God and obeying His word. Some say He is jealous. Very<br />
true. God says He is a jealous<br />
God and adds that we are not<br />
to have other God’ s besides Him. That is self-explanatory. We<br />
cannot sublet our hearts<br />
between God and other wants.<br />
As hard as it may seem, giving<br />
God our hearts is not all that<br />
hard. It only takes a prayer and belief. So, dear, let go of the<br />
common excuse of “God will understand”. If only we could give Him our all. How marvelous<br />
would it be? Idolatry does not<br />
have to entail falling prostrate<br />
to other God’ s and idols. No. It means loving something or even<br />
someone more than your<br />
spiritual God. Pal, reconsider. Finally, the Bible has created a<br />
lot of questions about the<br />
nature of Christian God. Problem<br />
is, while most of us are so up to<br />
speed with such questions from<br />
the Bible, very few of us are willing to seek the answers from<br />
the same book that poses the<br />
questions. Reading the Bible is a<br />
complex process. Read the poem<br />
below, (from the New King James<br />
Version of the Bible). I believe, partially, this note demystifies<br />
the nature of the ever-loving<br />
God for you. Moreover, read<br />
your Bible. Day by day. The very<br />
nature of God will be revealed<br />
to you. Bit by bit. All the best as you consider this worthwhile<br />
endeavor. HOW READEST THOU? It is one thing to read the Bible<br />
through,<br />
Another thing to read to learn<br />
and do.<br />
Some read it with design to<br />
learn to read, But to the subject pay but little<br />
heed.<br />
Some read it as their duty once<br />
a week,<br />
But no instruction from the Bible<br />
seek; While others read it with but<br />
little care,<br />
With no regard to how they<br />
read, nor where.<br />
Some read it as a history, to<br />
know How people lived three thousand<br />
years ago.<br />
Some read to bring themselves<br />
into repute,<br />
By showing other how they can<br />
dispute; While others read because their<br />
neighbours do,<br />
To see how long ‘ twill take to read it through.<br />
Some read it for the wonders<br />
that are there,<br />
How David killed a lion and a<br />
bear;<br />
While others read it with uncommon care.<br />
Hoping to find some<br />
contradictions there!<br />
Some read as though it did not<br />
speak to them,<br />
But to the people at Jerusalem. One reads it as a book of<br />
mysteries,<br />
And won’ t believe the very thing he sees.<br />
One reads with father’ s specs upon his head,<br />
And sees the thing just as his<br />
father said.<br />
Some read to prove a pre-<br />
adopted creed,<br />
Hence understand but little that they read;<br />
For every passage in the book<br />
they bend,<br />
To make it suit that all-<br />
important end!<br />
Some people read, as I have often thought,<br />
To teach the book instead of<br />
being taught,<br />
And some there are who read it<br />
out of spite<br />
I fear there are but few who read it right.<br />
So many people in these latter<br />
days,<br />
Have read the Bible in so many<br />
ways<br />
That few can tell which system is the best,<br />
For every party contradicts the<br />
rest!<br />
But read it prayerfully, and you<br />
will see,<br />
Although men contradict, God’ s words agree.<br />
For what the early Bible<br />
prophets wrote,<br />
We find that Christ and his<br />
apostles quote:<br />
So trust no creed that trembles to recall<br />
What has been penned by one<br />
and verified by all.Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-53315090430159468052011-06-19T21:20:00.001+03:002011-06-19T21:20:08.173+03:00below the belt(December 2005)<br />
"Do you love me?" She asked.<br />
"Of course I love you. I am even<br />
falling in love with you." I<br />
answered her.<br />
She was the most beautiful girl I had ever met, so far. Her brown<br />
eyes were kind. Very kind to me.<br />
Her hands were soft. Her smile<br />
was perfect. Priceless. I knew at<br />
this point, this was the woman I<br />
wanted to marry. I was sure. To hell with those who say there is<br />
no genuine love at first sight.<br />
This is it! It was the first time<br />
we had had a real date. All of<br />
our other meetings and dates<br />
had been online. Somehow, I had liked her. Meeting Maria was the<br />
best thing that happened to me.<br />
After all my ups and downs in<br />
relationships with women who<br />
wanted me for their own selfish<br />
reasons, I finally had found my true love. Now I believe in love. I<br />
do. I believe in love. It was time<br />
to go. "Help me up" she said. (June 2005)<br />
Part of my work as the doctor<br />
in chief at the Grainview Hospital<br />
in Zambia involved corresponding<br />
with the other health<br />
practitioners from my continent. Video conferencing was my only<br />
way of convening meetings<br />
without interrupting my very<br />
busy schedule. One cold morning,<br />
my boss calls me and tells me I<br />
am needed to explain the rising costs of operations at the<br />
hospital.<br />
"What the hell?!" I shout at him.<br />
( in my head, of course).<br />
Why would the CEO want<br />
answers so early in the morning? Nevertheless, I have to<br />
give answers, real and imagined.<br />
I am tired of life. This is the<br />
third time in six months that<br />
another relationship has hit the<br />
rocks. Aaaargh! "Sir, the sudden hyper-inflation<br />
in the country, compounded with<br />
our recently launched open-door<br />
policy of not turning away poor<br />
patients, among several blind-<br />
siding events have caused unprecedented proliferation in<br />
the operating costs in the<br />
hospital. Beyond..." "Wait, wait." he said. " What<br />
difference is there between<br />
your hospital and the rest of<br />
our hospitals in Africa?"<br />
"Are you giving the board a<br />
reason or an excuse for the perfunctory levels of work and<br />
reported apathy among your<br />
sub-ordinates?"<br />
" Dr. Onyango, you better get<br />
your act together and produce<br />
results, lest the board places you under probation with half<br />
salary and no benefits."<br />
I sighed at the 50 inch screen in<br />
my hospital's board room. I had<br />
to say something."Sir..."<br />
"That said and done, let us hear the financial reports from the<br />
accountant in charge, Grainview<br />
Branch in Kenya, Miss Maria<br />
please proceed." he interrupted.<br />
"Yes Sir" I blurted. That was "where" I met Maria.<br />
She looked beautiful. She was<br />
smart too. And those eyes.<br />
Those eyes! There is something<br />
about those eyes...Onyango, look<br />
at those eyes! Isn't she lovely? What is going on with me? Just<br />
a day from a relationship and<br />
here I am, lusting after some<br />
lady's eyes. A lady who is far<br />
away in Kenya! Onyango, she is<br />
beyond your reach. Suck it up and look for ladies in your own<br />
country of work. Maria's face<br />
spoke and spoke...this video<br />
conference thing was not such a<br />
good idea after all. I should meet<br />
that lady. I should. There is something about her. "Yes, Dr. Onyango,please respond<br />
to Miss Maria's sentiments?" Oh<br />
my goodness. I had drifted from<br />
the meeting a while back.<br />
"Ummmh...."I mumbled. I was in for<br />
a fix here. What is the boss going to say about my short<br />
attention span? "Sir, I need not<br />
justify my shortcomings here." "I<br />
am going to sort the mistakes<br />
hitherto made and restore the<br />
dwindling fortunes and fading glory of Grainview Zambia" I said,<br />
sounding stupid. A few comments<br />
here and a few warnings there<br />
and the meeting was over. Well,<br />
the meeting was officially over<br />
but not for me. I had to call the Nairobi office. For obvious<br />
reasons. "Is that Miss Maria?"<br />
"Maria speaking."<br />
"Dr. Onyango here. I was calling<br />
to inquire of the specific<br />
strategies you used to<br />
improve..." I lied. I went on and on. Somehow, I digressed from<br />
the improvement of the hospital<br />
and talked about other issues.<br />
That is how it all happened. She<br />
indulged me in a personal Q&A<br />
and yeah, the rest as they say, is sweet history. As lame as it<br />
sounds, She, like me, had never<br />
been lucky in relationships. For<br />
some reason or the other. I<br />
liked Maria just by talking to<br />
her everyday...everyday for six months! We had known<br />
everything one could possibly<br />
know about someone online and<br />
via the phone. I smiled to myself<br />
as I boarded the afternoon time<br />
flight to Nairobi, Kenya. Lusaka International Airport bye. Hello<br />
Jomo Kenyatta International<br />
Airport. I was thrillled. She had scheduled the date for<br />
the same night at the Rusty<br />
Nail. Apparently it was the most<br />
romantic thing ever. I arrived at<br />
The Rusty Nail. Dressed up. No<br />
flowers, as per her request. Ten minutes before I saw her. Sitted<br />
at a corner, all so beautiful. I<br />
walked to the table. I was too<br />
nervous even to speak. I sat<br />
down without saying a word. A<br />
big smile lit her face. "You ae beautiful!" I said. Time stood still.<br />
Everything else was background<br />
noise. I was here with Maria,<br />
after six months of convincing<br />
and being convinced. The food<br />
was good. The wine was even better. But at that moment I<br />
didn't care whether the food<br />
was insipid or tasty. I didn't care<br />
whether the drinks were shaken<br />
or stirred. All I cared about was<br />
"here and now". I was with Maria.<br />
"Do you love me?" She asked.<br />
"Of course I love you. I am even<br />
falling in love with you." I<br />
answered her.<br />
It was that moment. That's the moment when you say nothing<br />
and kiss, or so I thought. Before<br />
I did it, she started to speak.<br />
" "Help me up" she said. I left Nairobi the next morning.<br />
And I left Maria a broken heart.<br />
I left Maria a tortured soul. My<br />
pride could not let me marry<br />
her for she was paralysed below<br />
the belt downwards. She could not walk. She could have kids,<br />
our kids, but my pride wanted a<br />
woman who could walk. I told<br />
her so as we rode a taxi back<br />
to her home. I helped her out of<br />
the taxi as she cried silently. I didn't even enter her house.<br />
That was the last I saw of<br />
Maria. Gone with the wind. (June 2007)<br />
"You may kiss the bride" the<br />
pastor said. He didn't have to<br />
say it twice. I was a happy man<br />
now. After all the misfortunes of<br />
my lovelife, here I was, marrying a beautiful woman. Stong willed,<br />
well-off, smart and faithful and<br />
a go-getter. What else could a<br />
man ask for? I enjoyed the day.<br />
Everything fell into place.<br />
Everything. The ambience. The music. The food. The audience.<br />
My in-laws. I was pleased. I<br />
smiled to myself. Soon, and it was time to go<br />
home and pack up for the<br />
honeymoon. Zanzibar. The<br />
beautiful sands, the sun-kissed<br />
beaches. I was in for a treat. A<br />
happy 1-day old marriage. A beautiful wife. A three story<br />
house. We were running around<br />
the house. Up and down the<br />
stairs. Athletic foreplay. That<br />
was when it happened. She fell.<br />
Three stories down. Again, for the second time in my life, time<br />
stood still. "She'll never walk again." The<br />
doctors told me. "She's paralysed<br />
waist downwards".<br />
"I know!" I shouted.Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-9658987016953757072011-06-19T21:16:00.001+03:002011-06-19T21:16:43.946+03:00On Kenya, SouthKorea, Obama, 1963and a Little Laughter.Life changes fast. A few years<br />
ago and my favourite books<br />
were “Rumpelstiltskin” and “The Adventures of Thigo”. A few more years and I became a<br />
pre-pubescent teenager. Nelson<br />
Demille’ s "The Lion's Game" became my favourite book. A<br />
few more years into puberty<br />
and Anyang’ Nyong’ o’ s “A Leap Into The Future” was one of my favourite reads (certainly<br />
not my best!) Too much with the<br />
history. Anyway, Nyong’ o’ s book is an awesome read if you<br />
want to pity Kenya. If you want<br />
to feel rage seep within you and<br />
patriotism give way for hate of<br />
country, read this book! In part,<br />
it declares that while some developed country’ s people were busy making strategies, we<br />
were busy obliterating society of<br />
smart minds (Tom Mboya) by<br />
assassinating them. Few fine<br />
brains make it far in Kenya (and<br />
that is why I sometimes fear for my life, just kidding. Who am I<br />
kidding? I am not kidding. Just<br />
kidding.) The other day Obama<br />
lambastes Kenya and her leaders<br />
for failure in developing the<br />
country. What follows? The Luo politicians act fishy<br />
when Obama decides to go to<br />
Ghana. The Luhya politicians<br />
chicken out. The Kisiis go<br />
bananas. Kamba leaders are out<br />
of colour and the Kalenjin leaders lose their desire to live<br />
on the fast lane of life. Kikuyus<br />
were not in the mood to indulge<br />
in life’ s little profits. And rightfully so! Had we behaved<br />
well, Obama would have made<br />
Kenya his first stop. No doubt.<br />
But after our childish stealing of<br />
elections in 2007, his chances of<br />
him coming here changed from redoubtable to doubtable! He<br />
just could not come. Whether or<br />
not his coming would have been<br />
of value is simply rhetorical!<br />
Watch and see how many people<br />
flock Ghana in the next few months! Back home, being one of<br />
Kenya’ s finest brains in the 60s, my President has so sadly<br />
let me down. Picture this, he<br />
graduated top of his class at<br />
Makerere in 1955 and was also<br />
top of his class at the very<br />
prestigious London School of Economics! Makerere in its hey<br />
days, as we all know, was<br />
comparable to the Mukabi<br />
Institute for the Sons of African<br />
Gentlemen, you get the hang if<br />
you were a sucker for Barbara Kimenye’ s Moses series of books. Anyways, for a man of<br />
his ilk and “intelligentsia”, my President has seriously let me<br />
down! I expected much more<br />
from him as a man, and as an<br />
economist of (dis)repute. Folks,<br />
imagine Kenya and South Korea<br />
were at the same level of (under)development in 1963! Let’ s me see where South Korea is now…Now, South Korea is the fourth largest economy in<br />
Asia (in the same league as<br />
Japan, Singapore and the<br />
massive China) while we, Kenya,<br />
are fighting to so hard to<br />
displace several lawless states in Africa and in other forgotten<br />
corners of the world. South<br />
Korea’ s capital Seoul is now a leading commercial Capital in the<br />
World and South Koreans enjoy<br />
some of the highest living<br />
standards in the world! Talk of<br />
LG (Life’ s Good)! An extremely motivated workforce is a<br />
characteristic of Koreans! It is a<br />
taboo for males to be seen<br />
running in traditional society (or<br />
so, claims my Pastor)! The<br />
country is the best in scientific literacy and the second in<br />
Mathematical literature,<br />
according to internet sources.<br />
Her education system is highly<br />
competitive, but functional.<br />
Korea has the highest broadband internet access per<br />
person than any other country<br />
in the world! South Korea has<br />
become synonymous with LG, the<br />
second largest Liquid Crystal<br />
Manufacturer in the world! Going on to mention Hyundai will add<br />
insult to injury! Let us go back<br />
home folks. Here at home in Kenya, food is<br />
a BIG issue! People are eating<br />
contaminated maize everyday!<br />
Talk of government-aided<br />
suicide! Water is scarce and<br />
there is no electricity! What is wrong with us? Don’ t we have an economist for President and<br />
an Engineer for Prime Minister?<br />
Seriously men, you guys are<br />
joking! Do something! Internet in<br />
Kenya is inaccessible! It is a<br />
shame to see ourselves on CNN every other day carrying<br />
machetes and stones (And if we<br />
are to continue behaving like<br />
some brainless barbarics, then<br />
we better keep off the cameras!<br />
Sad to say but the offenders here are well known. To protect<br />
Kisumu’ s identity, I will not mention its name!) Anyway, it is<br />
also sad and pitiable to see<br />
politicians being paid so much<br />
money. Free Primary Education<br />
became so free that even the<br />
government stopped paying for it (properly). Free Secondary<br />
Education? Was it ever<br />
implemented? Not at all. And last<br />
year, during a visit to some<br />
rural place in Vihiga District, I<br />
saw a tad too many Ds and Es on the KCSE results. Why go to<br />
school when you have a preset<br />
grade? Our education system is<br />
so screwed! Honestly folks , politics is such a<br />
voluntary job. No one is forced<br />
into it (well, a few are. Most are<br />
not.) I think we (the young and<br />
fine brained Kenyans aged 0-55)<br />
should demand for the avaricious people contending for<br />
Parliamentary seats to sign<br />
performance contracts that<br />
among other things sets a<br />
maximum salary remunerable to<br />
them, based on the (fair and standard) Constituents’ judgement of the performance<br />
of such office holders. Seriously!<br />
What with 800 000 Shillings per<br />
month? That money is enough<br />
to pay 8 members of parliament<br />
in a poor country! Kenya is not a poor country! Kenya is a very<br />
poor country! Use the 800 000<br />
to pay at least 8 members! It is<br />
sad to see and hear respected<br />
leaders complaining about “nus mkeka na choo” and “having only one wife” while KCSE results are determined in a<br />
dicey manner and university<br />
students have issues so deep<br />
they burn schools! Folks…we need to change Kenya, and<br />
soon. Better still, we need to<br />
own our country! We have been<br />
deaf and dumb (without hearing)<br />
and dumb (without wisdom) for<br />
46 years. Time to wake up is now. Come on guys!!! We can do<br />
a lot! Let us believe in ourselves<br />
and love our country! Then God<br />
will also help us (more)? OK<br />
folks? Yes! It is 2009 and according to<br />
Nostradamus, Mayan history and<br />
paranoia, the world is ending in<br />
2012. Let us make Kenya a<br />
better place before we go to<br />
heaven, or the other place. (Nel On The Head. July 23rd<br />
Edition)<br />
"There is a thin line between<br />
truth and fiction. This is that<br />
line!"Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-70603411162522206902011-06-19T20:18:00.001+03:002011-06-19T20:18:26.051+03:00african thoughtsPlease do not throw the<br />
“pervert” sobriquet my way just because I envy King Mswati<br />
III. (After all, most people in the<br />
world usually attend the Reed<br />
Dance, only that they are under<br />
the disguise of concerned<br />
viewers trying to keep “abreast” with African politics.) What with an infinite number of<br />
Swazi “beauties” showing up “shirtless” for him? And this will happen for every year until he<br />
joins the other Mswatis! Before<br />
death confines you to a “flat chest” and you are no more, make a point of skirting any<br />
hindrances and attend the Reed<br />
Dance. Don’ t quote me, if you “boob” and get yourself into hot “milk” with your spouse or parents for attending the Reed<br />
Dance! Do it at your own risk.<br />
Enough of the fantasy, let’ s get back to reality folks! Djimon Hounsou’ s ill joint, “Blood Diamond”, ranks as one of my favourite movies in the recent<br />
past. Not as much so because of<br />
the “moral message”, as to the rough and edgy “Africanness”, rugged emotion and violence in<br />
it. The “Constant Gardner”, is also another critically acclaimed<br />
movie that has been set in<br />
Africa, Kenya to be exact, and<br />
Kibera to be precise. Forest<br />
Whittaker’ s “The Last King of Scotland” could have been an even bigger hit had it been<br />
done by our very own Charles<br />
Bukeko (Papa Shirandula),<br />
maybe. When it comes to<br />
knowledge on basic African facts,<br />
the Westerners rely heavily on the media, and this is where all<br />
the information and<br />
misinformation is obtained. There<br />
is already too much negativity<br />
and unconfirmed innuendo<br />
spread about the motherland, and attempting to de-<br />
indoctrinate them is a tall order,<br />
simply because some of them<br />
look down upon us. So, folks, let<br />
us see just how blessed we are. Life without music is death, or<br />
something close to death. Like<br />
having a heart attack? Or being<br />
comatose? Yeah, something like<br />
that. African music enriches the<br />
soul and calms the mind; it cleanses the body in kind and<br />
outdoes them all. If you think<br />
some fusion of “Ifunanya” and “Sweet Love” is real African, think again. Real African music<br />
sans the Western influence.<br />
“Gallo-ed”, “Ulopa-ed” and “Ogopa-ed” tunes are (good) for gyration, but when you<br />
want to showcase Africa, none<br />
of those counts! If you love<br />
Theo Blaise’ s “Belle Amiche ” and Sam Mangwana’ s “Fatimata”, then you have a hint. If you feel the tune of<br />
Franco’ s “Mamou” and better still Papa Noel Nono’ s “Tangawizi”, then you are deep African. And when you internalize<br />
Ringo Madlingozi’ s “Sondela” and Mafikizolo’ s “Emlanjeni”, then beyond doubt, you are so<br />
Africanized beyond repair. And<br />
that is a good thing! Oliver<br />
Mtukudzi’ s “What Shall We Do?” is also quite African. And who can forget Ladysmith Black<br />
Mambazo and their outstanding<br />
displays of African voice<br />
capabilities and dance? Awesome<br />
stuff! (I still love Jua Cali’ s “Ruka”, Mr. Nice’ s “Kidalipo”, Sidney’ s “African Money” and the rest of the sweet and<br />
contemporary African dance<br />
tunes, so don’ t get me wrong. Only that I think my mentions<br />
are a tad more African than the<br />
modern African tunes, arguably<br />
though. And I don’ t stand to be corrected!) Talk of humanitarian disasters,<br />
we have seen them all. The<br />
Rwanda Genocide of 1994,<br />
Kenyan theft and stupidity in<br />
2007 (we need a real Kenyan<br />
Renaissance, honestly), Darfur and Somalia, the DRC among<br />
others. Sierra Leone and Liberia<br />
are also in this list of shame. All<br />
because of bad leadership and<br />
being cronies of some powers<br />
Western powers that be. The Madagascarn (sic) DJ is yet to<br />
deliver, so he also joins the list<br />
of African politicians, who are<br />
infamous, but I give him the<br />
benefit of doubt. These are<br />
disasters that are exclusively African. Of course we know<br />
these wars all begin (and end) in<br />
some fancy European, Asian and<br />
American offices. They supply<br />
militia and governments and we<br />
fools keep fighting. Not even knowing what we are fighting<br />
for! Isn’ t it funny that uranium mines in the Congo were found<br />
open during a period when<br />
neither the government nor the<br />
rebels used the area? Someone<br />
stole the uranium. Some mines<br />
collapsed and killed the local “marionettes” in this illicit process. Talk of dying actively in<br />
a radioactive mine! Painful? The<br />
peacekeepers were never asked<br />
what went wrong, for we all<br />
know they are here to protect<br />
and not to steal. Sad! And what of the Kenyan gold? What<br />
happened to about a billion<br />
dollars of public funds? The<br />
worst was Sierra Leone where<br />
the “outside-funded” militia cut people’ s hands in a bid to counter the government’ s efforts of telling the people that<br />
“the future was in their hands”! How inhuman? Give or take, 70% of the<br />
world’ s gold is in Africa, and 80% of the world’ s diamonds are also here in the Dark<br />
Continent. Yet 40% of Africa’ s wealth is (stashed) in foreign<br />
countries! With this kind of<br />
“reverse” statistic, where are we headed to? Stupidly thinking,<br />
should 40% of us migrate to<br />
foreign countries, ostensibly to<br />
follow our wealth? What with<br />
the double-speak that the<br />
“holier-than-thou” world leaders give when they criticize<br />
our poor leadership yet at the<br />
same time storing stolen<br />
“Africana”? I think we should celebrate our heritage for a<br />
while and forget all this poverty<br />
and war that is shoved down<br />
our throats by the (African) rich<br />
westerners and easterners. If<br />
we focus on the so many good things about Africa, we can<br />
make some steps towards a<br />
beautiful and more peaceful<br />
continent. A year of civil war<br />
leaves a country at least 2.5%<br />
poorer, so you can imagine what kind of misery we fight for when<br />
we expose our continent to<br />
unnecessary wars and upheavals<br />
for decades. A few years back, Africa was<br />
the proverbial virgin land. That<br />
was before the Western<br />
“Civilization” pierced, pummeled and tore apart her virginity<br />
(and purity). Adding insult to<br />
injury, the same blind following<br />
of Westernification has continued<br />
to molest her economically! Now<br />
Africa is almost barren! With all of her resources stolen and<br />
transferred overseas for<br />
“value-addition”, there is almost nothing left for her<br />
children. But Mama Africa is yet<br />
to hit “menopause”, she is still fertile. If we do “the right thing” (no pun intended) soon, we can make her viable again,<br />
for one last time. It begins with<br />
you and me. And that is the<br />
fierce urgency of now! “There is a thin line between truth and fiction. This is that<br />
line!”Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-13514486164363619462011-06-19T20:13:00.001+03:002011-06-19T20:13:30.892+03:00Black Talk and a FewWords of ColourIt is amazing, the work of Fate.<br />
That a sex scandal had an<br />
invisible hand in Obama’ s bid to the American Presidency sounds<br />
untrue. Well, it’ s not. Just by boosted chances did he win the<br />
Illinois Senate seat? Sure! The<br />
then quite popular “Senator- to-be” Jay Ryan had to step down after being implicated in a<br />
sex scandal. And so he became<br />
the next President, eventually. Is<br />
it just coincidental or fateful<br />
that sex has shaped the<br />
American Presidency twice in the past few years? Remember the<br />
“hand” of Monica Lewinsky that almost “blew” Clinton out of his White House “job”? (No pun intended). Anyway, apart from<br />
the works of Fate, and perfect<br />
timing, all of us must admit that<br />
Barack’ s prowess in (public) speech is an extraordinary one!<br />
Or so I thought? While I think Obama’ s speech abilities are nothing short of<br />
phenomenal, I would be lying if I<br />
fail to mention the role of<br />
America and race in shaping his<br />
unique abilities. America? People<br />
in that country are “allowed” to speak and they are taught<br />
to speak out and loud. In all<br />
honesty, for every person’ s second word, Americans do twice<br />
as much, or even more. Race<br />
you ask? Yeah! Listen to great<br />
speeches by Black American<br />
leaders in the recent past and<br />
then juxtapose those against mighty speeches of the other<br />
world leaders. There is no big<br />
difference, you might conclude.<br />
Not quite so. While the message,<br />
wording and semantics might be<br />
consistent across the board, there is only one area that sets<br />
the “boys” from the “men”. Emotion! Sentimental and<br />
sensational speeches are hard<br />
to give and few (have) deliver<br />
(ed) them with the intended<br />
intensity and anticipated end<br />
effect. A few, mostly blacks, have. Consider the Reverend Al<br />
Sharptone, he of the Civil Rights<br />
movement fame. That man<br />
speaks to the soul! And that is<br />
the kick that Barack and Luther<br />
had over and above their peers and opponents. At Michael<br />
Jackson’ s memorial, Sharptone spoke with the zeal of a<br />
tortured soul, the calmness of<br />
an experienced mind and the<br />
gusto of a once happy heart. All<br />
in one! And without reading! No<br />
papers, no Teleprompters! That was amazing! It was at that<br />
precise moment that the impact<br />
of MJs death “tickled” some hard souls I know. Not even the<br />
daughter’ s tearful eulogy was as impactful. And Barack’ s speech at the NAACP was nothing short of<br />
soul-stirring. And truth be told,<br />
the all-black audience brought<br />
out some of his hitherto unseen<br />
(true) colours. The recent arrest<br />
of a black scholar made him use the word “stupid” publicly in his address to the media.<br />
Nevertheless, none of his<br />
speeches is as emotional and<br />
sensational (according to me), as<br />
the one he delivered on election<br />
night (after the win)! It had such power as to move the tens<br />
of thousands gathered in the<br />
cold, yet at the same time, it<br />
stung subtly as to move the<br />
Reverend Jesse Jackson to<br />
tears. Its smoothness made Oprah sway from side to side.<br />
And the impact of that speech is<br />
perhaps everlasting in the<br />
history of humanity. Few people<br />
achieve such moments. Very few<br />
make use of them as he does. Look and behold! Maya Angelou!<br />
In my opinion, the greatest of all<br />
poets I know. Watching Maya<br />
recite a poem in Tyler Perry’ s “Madea’ s Family Reunion” is something that you don’ t easily forget, if ever. And her poem<br />
graced MJs memorial, read by<br />
Queen (Latifah). I ask, is it just<br />
coincidental that all of their<br />
speeches (and poems) appeal to<br />
the soul, or is it a bias tendency towards the minority? And of course, it would be<br />
pointless and unpatriotic of me<br />
to fail to bring a Kenyan<br />
perspective into all this. I<br />
respect this lawyer. He speaks<br />
with passion, yes, but, his soft- underbelly is exposed during the<br />
bombastic and grandiloquent<br />
speeches he gives, making the<br />
intended concepts hard for the<br />
common man, and even some of<br />
the learned few, to fully understand his intentions and<br />
direction. Hardly do people<br />
understand whether he has<br />
nailed the bull’ s eye with pin- point precision or he is simply<br />
beating about the bush! You all<br />
know who I am talking about,<br />
right? If you still do not know<br />
who I am alluding to, I will<br />
whisper his name, so please lean over. P (lease) L (ean) O (ver.) And, if<br />
you still don’ t get it, then you are quite slow. “There is a thin line between truth and fiction. This is that<br />
line!”Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1405306490615795399.post-86151564326410112852011-06-19T20:11:00.001+03:002011-06-19T20:11:58.229+03:00Ten Types ofFacebookersFacebook ranks as one of the<br />
biggest influences of soft-<br />
technology on society in the<br />
recent past. What began as an<br />
innocent attempt to be a social<br />
networking site is now a societal phenomenon whose impacts are<br />
as wide as they are deep. It has<br />
created life-long friendships and<br />
marriages, and yet still<br />
destroying them with the same<br />
intensity. It reduces our work- place productivity by almost half<br />
and keeps us in touch with all<br />
the gossip, innuendo, truths and<br />
half-truths about our friends<br />
and acquaintances. Who’ s in and who’ s out, who’ s down and who’ s not, it tells us all. Facebook is just but another<br />
necessary evil in society, like<br />
prostitution and alcoholism, and<br />
as we marvel and sneer at it,<br />
we cannot help but identify that<br />
with it has come online personas that are just as much reflective<br />
of an individual as real life<br />
meetings are. Let’ s look at them. These are, in my opinion,<br />
the ten most common personas<br />
on Facebook. THE ATWOLI FACEBOOKER<br />
Atwoli has commented on your<br />
status! Atwoli likes your status!<br />
Atwoli likes your relationship<br />
status! Atwoli commented on<br />
your wall post! This type of Facebooker comments on all<br />
issues, like Atwoli comments on<br />
all issues. From when goats in<br />
Western Kenya give birth to<br />
four kids at once to when<br />
Obama goes to the loo, Atwoli comments. And this Facebooker<br />
is no exception. He comments on<br />
everybody’ s wall, photo and status update. Cannot keep to<br />
himself and his own wall. May be<br />
reflective of an internal<br />
shortcoming, perhaps? While this<br />
person may be helpful at times,<br />
giving his not-so-golden chains of comments all the time is<br />
downright irritating. You all know<br />
of a character or two, right? THE INSECURE IDIOT<br />
Insecurity comes in all shapes<br />
and sizes, just like women and<br />
love. This one is so obsessed<br />
with updating his “profile update” and if in two minutes no one has commented, he goes<br />
on to change it. If no one<br />
comments, he will like and unlike<br />
his update severally and<br />
comment on it till it is full, of his<br />
own ideas and ego. Look at a status update that says…so and so commented on their status<br />
“a moment ago”… and they always remain” a moment ago”. Never lasts for a day or two or<br />
three. Simply shows a person so<br />
insecure inside, a person looking<br />
for acceptance and love on the<br />
web. Soft-love. While they can<br />
be sources of fun and entertainment, at times, this<br />
type too remains a bother and<br />
disaster to your notifications<br />
area. Never mind the fact that<br />
what they update people about<br />
range from their (non)-existent love lives, parents, school,<br />
church, clubbing, parties and<br />
colour of inner clothing to<br />
graduation ceremonies and<br />
deaths and weddings. Never<br />
knows what to say, when and where. THE FACEBOOK FOSSIL<br />
Dead and gone. His ideology is<br />
the exact anti-thesis of the<br />
insecure idiot upstairs. Updated<br />
their status when they first<br />
joined Facebook and left it so, for years down the line. And<br />
usually, the updates they first<br />
posted on Facebook are<br />
downright stupid, after some<br />
time. Take John for example,<br />
whose status has always been: “John is walking.” Weird, huh? Johnny walker was introduced<br />
to Facebook, told to walk, and<br />
has been walking ever since, 3<br />
or 4 years down the line! Well,<br />
as much as the Johnny type<br />
does not really interfere with the lives of others, they are<br />
seriously wasting valuable time<br />
walking, and worse, wasting<br />
valuable Internet space! THE GOSSIP GIRL<br />
Some girls argue that boys have<br />
embraced the art of gossip just<br />
as much as girls have perfected<br />
it. This is beyond arguable. While<br />
girls gossip, boys simply talk in private, right? Anyways, this<br />
type of Facebooker is<br />
interesting. Always talking of<br />
inboxes when you write on her<br />
wall. And actually, leave most of<br />
us wishing that inboxes were accessible and public! She starts<br />
a nice story on your wall,<br />
comments on it twice, and the<br />
third comment is always, check<br />
your inbox! Leaves those<br />
eavesdroppers yearning for access to others’ inboxes. Way to go girl! THE SOCIALITE<br />
This type is scary. She has up<br />
to 400 unknown friends, and she<br />
too is unknown. Her relationship<br />
status is always engaged or<br />
married, and every two or three hours, she ends her<br />
“marriages” and “engagements” and is usually quick to get hitched again. She<br />
flirts, seduces and almost gets in<br />
the sack, all online! The<br />
temptress I say, and she has<br />
many “suitors” and husbands, and the man she is now married<br />
to is not her husband! This type<br />
is scary and whether they are<br />
actual persons or just mere<br />
fun-seekers is not clearly<br />
defined. Thinks Facebook is an online version of Luthuli or<br />
Koinange! THE WANNA-BE<br />
This type too, like the socialite,<br />
has many unknown friends. One<br />
defining factor for this persona<br />
is her profile pic. If not Beyonce<br />
or Rihanna, she has a sex symbol as her picture and<br />
sounds just like the “perfect” girl you can bump into online.<br />
You know several of them right?<br />
Right. And men are always<br />
asking for her photo, but she is<br />
always quick to divert the line<br />
of conversation or ignore it, nevertheless. Another hidden<br />
persona in the vast world of<br />
Facebookers. Not the type to<br />
get engaged or married online.<br />
She is always young and single,<br />
has the “right” taste of music, programs and updates her<br />
status in a lady-like manner.<br />
Until recently, this category has<br />
been exclusively female. Men are<br />
fast joining this scrimmage with<br />
weird profile pics and hip-hop lingo! This is not to say that all<br />
weird profile pics represent a<br />
wanna-be Facebook persona, no. THE CAMPAIGNER<br />
Also called the dreamer. Has a<br />
politically motivated profile<br />
picture. Usually, the “victims” use photos of Parliament, State<br />
House or Capitol Hill. The<br />
“humanitarian and humble of the dreamers” use pictures that inspire empathy and pity, in<br />
a bid to establish themselves as<br />
servants of the people. Talk of<br />
Muthurwa, Kibera and Darfur,<br />
their profile pics are disturbing<br />
and whether or not they are as humane as they claim in a<br />
thousand words is unknown. This<br />
type nurse political ambition, real<br />
and imagined and whether they<br />
implement them, time will tell.<br />
This type also comments on all political issues and claims to be<br />
in touch with Baba Fidel and<br />
Mama Jimmy and as such, will<br />
easily be among the witnesses<br />
present at The Hague and TJRC<br />
hearings. Also claims to own a very small piece of land in<br />
Migingo and will deal with anyone<br />
who claims that fishing gem. A<br />
very entertaining brand of<br />
Facebookers these are. THE FORCEOSIS FACEBOOKER<br />
Forceosis is a Facebook disease<br />
or disorder, which causes people<br />
to force themselves onto the<br />
lives of others, by force and<br />
any other means necessary. This type is your “friend” by all means. Have never introduced<br />
themselves to you and you<br />
cannot remember having met<br />
them. But they claim to be your<br />
best of friends and seek to<br />
indulge you in all sorts of discussions, personal and<br />
otherwise. Almost borders<br />
stalking and can get quite<br />
disturbing if not treated early.<br />
While Facebook is a social<br />
networking site and its purpose, quintessentially, is to connect<br />
people and keep them in touch,<br />
the Forceosis sufferers take<br />
“meeting-people” a tad into extremism. THE PHANTOM GROUPERS<br />
Well, like the Phantom, we never<br />
know what they will use<br />
Facebook for. From selling wares<br />
and business plans to seeking<br />
votes for student councils and conducting online-diss sessions<br />
(mchongoano), to advising the<br />
public, preaching and writing on<br />
issues, this is by far the biggest<br />
group of Facebookers. Some of<br />
them teach you how to kiss and how to dress to church while<br />
some are formed to give all<br />
those who hated prefects in<br />
high school a voice. Some seek<br />
to inform, some to educate,<br />
some to hate, some to kill, no one knows what group is coming<br />
next. Some are just crazy,<br />
claiming to be claiming Migingo<br />
back through Facebook and<br />
fighting an online war with the<br />
Mungiki! So much with the Facebook pen being more<br />
powerful than the Mungiki<br />
swords! Anyway, some of these<br />
groups are genuine and<br />
important, like a million<br />
supporters for Wenger and Arsenal (which is the only<br />
Premier League soccer club with<br />
a Swahili name-Arsenali), and as<br />
such must be supported and<br />
perpetuated. THE STONE-AGE FACEBOOKER<br />
Most of us started here, or are<br />
here. This is the real user of<br />
Facebook and simply uses it to<br />
connect to friends and family<br />
and meet new people. This type updates status once in a while<br />
and knows when and on what<br />
to comment. At least every one<br />
has had a stint as a Stone-Age<br />
Facebooker or is still one. Way<br />
to go. Whatever kind of Facebooker<br />
you are, enjoy! “There is a thin line between truth and fiction. This is that<br />
line”Zeph Mege Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02062704677449513290noreply@blogger.com0